52 Weeks - Week 4

Week 4 - What is your greatest weakness? Describe a time this weakness held you back.

Kindness. Kindness is definitely my biggest weakness. Most people wonder how that could ever be a weakness, but trust me, it can be. I have a problem saying no to people when they need help or even if they just ask for something. I don’t like to see people struggle, even if I am struggling. This has always been a downfall. It’s gotten me in trouble a lot as well. There have been many times when I have been broke and have someone my last $5. It’s caused me issues with paying my own bills and left me playing catch-up on stuff later. So yes. It can be a downfall! 

52 Weeks - Week 3

Week 3 - What is your greatest strength? Describe a time this strength served you well.

I think my biggest strength is perseverance. I have been through a lot in my life. That not to say that others haven’t. We all go through things. We all have things that knock us down and make us wonder what the point of life even is. I think it’s all about how we handle the challenges we’re faced with everyday, don’t you? I haven’t always handled life’s challenges very well. There was a time when I’d use alcohol or illegal drugs to suppress my problems. I turned to cocaine during my last real relationship because it was a bad, toxic relationship and instead of walking away, I started using drugs. It was only after I wanted to die, like really die, that I knew something had to change. I dumped the guy, dumped the drugs, and sought out therapy. I’ve always had a way of surviving and I think just knowing there is more for me out there, has kept me going. I refuse to let the haters win. People are always going to try to knock you down and hold you back, but it’s up to you to prove them wrong. Persevere no matter what! 

52 Weeks - Week 2

Week 2 – What physical characteristics are you most self-conscious about? How could you make peace with those?

For this one I guess I’d say my stomach. I’m not really as bad as a I used to be about it though. Now it’s more of a frustration thing when picking out what to wear or buy. Because I’m a BBW, I always have major muffin top and not just with jeans. Most clothes don’t flow right on my body because my belly sticks out more than my boobs! Isn’t it some kind of requirement that if you’re a larger woman with a gut, you should have huge boobs too?????? Guess not! I also have to wear shirts that are kind of longer than most. If not, my belly causes the shirt to pull up and you can see my tummy. No offense to any of you BBW out there, but I personally do not like my tummy sticking out for the world to see. Making peace with……hmm. I guess just shop for clothes that flatter my other assets or lose weight and strengthen up that area.

Facebook warriors unite!

I do not understand Facebook warriors, or social media warriors in general. For instance, I belong to many groups on Facebook. I belong to hobby groups for things like bullet journals and crafting. I belong to selling groups. I belong to female only groups. In every single group and all over social media really, people love to comment on shit just to start shit. Yea yea yea. I get it. When you post things on social media for the entire world to see, you should definitely expect some pushback. However, we’ll use the buy and sell groups for example. What is the point of commenting on someone’s listing if you have no intention of buying their product or utilizing their services? Why post some shit saying someone is overcharging for something or comments on the condition of the item? If you don’t want it, just keep scrolling. How hard is that? Or, in one of the money groups I’m in, when people post a request for funds needed for something that seems frivolous to others, why comment and say shit like, “why post this shit? No one wants to fund your smoking habit?” Yes. I also know it’s probably not best to go online asking people to give you money for things like cigarettes or help paying your phone bill, etc., however, if you don’t want to donate, keep it moving! Most of these groups have admin approval for posts so if admins allow it to be posted then they saw nothing wrong with it. It’s also not your right or mine to judge anyone else. It’s not our place. So instead of giving people a hard time, just keep fucking scrolling. It’s not that hard, but goodness gracious, the animosity towards other peoples’ posts is ridiculous! When I see these comments, I really get a picture in my head of some 40 year old overweight balding man in a tank top, basketball shorts and flip flops, living in his parents basement just sitting in front of a computer anticipating the next chance he’ll have to fuck up someone else’s day. He literally only gets up to use the bathroom and his mother still cooks for him and fixes him a plate every meal and brings it to him in the basement. It’s not a pretty image. 

No this hasn’t happened to me personally but I see it every time I log in to Facebook or Instagram and it literally makes me want to leave these groups. I’m in them for various reasons though and I stay because every once in a blue moon, people are actually nice. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yes. The title is my attempt at passive aggressiveness or being a smart ass. Not my finest work but it will do.

52 Weeks - Week 1

Well. This is it. The 52 Weeks of Self Reflection that I promised! 

Week 1 – What is your favorite physical characteristic (face or body)? Describe a time you felt proud of that feature.

I think I’d have to say my hair. I used to dye it, perm it and basically just put it through hell. The last time I had a major haircut, she probably took a good 12 inches of horribly dry and dead hair. It was so bad that I couldn’t even get a brush through it, even with it coated in leave-in conditioner! My hair was rather short after that haircut. I could barely tuck it behind my ear which drove me crazy. I’ve basically always had long hair, except for a few years in my late 20s where I had one version of the proverbial mom cut.

Now however, it’s down to my ass, super smooth, soft and healthy. I love it when it dries all curly with no help from any kind of product except a proper wash and conditioning with good, safe shampoo and conditioner. I wear it up mostly because it does get annoying, but when it’s cooler weather and I’m not sweating like crazy (sweating and the SC humidity makes it frizzy), I comb it after a shower, leave it down, do a little tussle with my fingers to separate it more and let it air dry. It gets so curly, frizz free and I don’t have to add anything to it like mousse or leave-in conditioner. #teamnaturalhair #curlyhairdontcare