time to worry about ME

It’s officially New Year’s Eve and I’m laying here next to a man who makes me want to hug him and push him in front of a bus (moving of course) all at the same time. I can’t help but hope we can always be like we are at this moment, the night we had, the love we shared and the compassion and caring he showed me when I truly needed it.

This is what I do late at night… when I can’t sleep. I ponder my meaningless life and type up old journal entries just so I can have my thoughts doubly recorded. I need a life, seriously. I can’t say much. I had/have great friends that I do get to hang out with these days, but after this whole incident with this one girl, I just don’t know if I want to be around any of them honestly. I feel so fucking betrayed. I guess I’m confused on what true friends are maybe…

It’s been kind of liberating just worrying about me and Tony. For the last few months, I’ve run to Faith with all my problems. This isn’t necessarily a problem but I’m constantly comparing my relationship to hers. I’ve also been having an online affair with Michael (my ex), I guess if that’s what you want to call it. I was so fed up with Tony that I decided we were done and I spent a good few months making plans with Michael to get him back in SC and with me and boot Tony to the curb. Somewhere around Halloween, the shit hit the fan and I let it all out what was going on, how I felt and what I wanted to do. Tony had tears in his eyes telling me he was sorry for everything and how he wanted to make it work. I fell for it again like a jackass. What can I say? I love the man. This of course left Michael thoroughly pissed off with me because he felt like I was playing him and betrayed him. I didn’t mean to of course. Perhaps if Tony and I weren’t living together, it may have been easier to walk away and let the relationship fall in the cracks, but we live together, he’s helping raise my son and I owe that to my son at least, to give it another try. Well Michael and I began talking again as friends. Nothing else but he still wants to be together and he was supposed to come down for Christmas and we were going to see each other. Some shit happened with his job and he was unable to make it to SC. I saw this as a blessing in disguise. Then some other stuff happened with my so called friends and one of them went crazy on everyone which I later found out she was only mad with me. I still don’t understand this, because I bought so much shit for this girl and did so much for her and she still turned her back on me. Trifling 22 year old child. Whatever. I’m going to rise above all that. The point is, it’s now leaving Tony and I to spend New Year’s Eve together. I’m considering all of this as signs that Tony and I are supposed to try and work things out. He needs to do better with working and being a support system and I have to learn to stop criticizing him and setting him up to fail. I need to take his word for things and try to trust that he’ll do right. We’ve had a great week so far and I am proud to say that part of it is because I’m not running to my friends with my problems. I’m not worrying about hurting anyone but Tony and Keegan. I’m only considering our feelings in our relationship and I’ve been trying to give Tony the benefit of the doubt. He came through on Christmas. He’s keeping my truck with gas and he’s done 90% of everything I’ve asked him to do. If he’s willing to try, then so am I. It’s the least I can do. 

Holiday VoxBox 2012

I received my first VoxBox ever from Influenster today, on Christmas Eve of all days! Merry Christmas to me right??!?! YAY! Anyway. I was really excited about getting it so I could have cared less what was in the box. Seriously. It could have been dog food and I would have still been happy! Anyway. So, I had 5 ACTUAL PHYSICAL items I could touch in the box, and one coupon code.

The items in the Holiday 2012 VoxBox were:

Quaker Real Medleys Oatmeal (we got the Summer Berry one)

NYC New York Color Liquid Lipshine (Nude York City colored)

Kiss Nail Dress

EBOOST

Goody QuikStyle Brush (paddle)

Sole Society (coupon code for $25 off first purchase)

So the Quaker my son and I eat on a regular basis. I’ve always hated oatmeal but the berry one is actually pretty good, so I gave it to my son. He says thank you to those great people at Influenster! Lol.

I also gave the Lipshine to my sister. I’m not big on lip gloss and believe it or not, I actually have that same one. I’m a nude girl and I bought it at a local drug store, looking for something that would make my lips shine but not make them go BOOM! I didn’t have a problem with the lipshine itself, I just realize that I use my chapstick WAY too much to wear lip gloss.

I haven’t tried the Kiss Nail dress yet. Not these anyway. I have tried some that came as a sample in a magazine once and it didn’t work so well. Maybe they didn’t work because they were exposed to the elements in the magazine. It could have been me. We’ll give it a try again, because I really like the design on these! I actually wish I had time to do them tonight because they would match my outfit for tomorrow very well!

I haven’t tried the Eboost yet but maybe tomorrow! Lol. I’m going to need it with everything we have going on.

I did use the brush today. If I have to be honest, I’m going to say that it doesn’t seem anything different than a regular brush. I feel like my hair dried in the same amount of time that it always does. I don’t really think it absorbed a lot. Once again, could’ve just been me. It does brush well though. No catches or pulls.

I don’t know that I’ll use the coupon. If a company is willing to allow that much off of a first purchase, then their products are probably REALLY expensive and I can’t afford too much for shoes. I’d love to purchase some because they look amazing but I never go anywhere to need those kinds of shoes!

Thanks to Influenster for giving me the opportunity to try this cool stuff though!

Caramel Apple Jello Shots, Pain in the ASS!

I love trying new things when it comes to food. I love trying new recipes and being able to turn one thing into something totally unexpected. Pinterest has become my new best friend for food experimentation, however, there's one recipe I may not EVER try again. Then again, now that I have the correct tools to do the job (according to the recipe), who knows?!?!

Ok, so... these are alcoholic which means I shouldn't complain about what it took to make them. I should've just swigged as I worked like any normal critical blogger would do!

Alright... since I only have one picture of what these things look like, I'm stealing a photo of what they SHOULD look like. Below, find the photo-shopped picture of someone's results (I could be wrong, lol. Their's could have really looked like this, but I would have had to photo shop them so I maintain that this person did too!)

Alright, so the ingredients consisted of

granny smith apples

knox gelatin

water

coconut milk

yellow food coloring

caramel hot chocolate (regular will do if you can't find caramel)

sugar

lemon juice (I'd recommend buying lemons)

AND THE BEST PART

butterscotch schnapps (if you want more alcohol content you can try a caramel vodka)

I did get a picture of the ingredients though!!!

So you start by hollowing the apples. You cut them in half from the stem down and hollow those suckers. The original poster says she used a melon baller, because every home has one of those.... Well... I had no melon baller. I know, WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?!!?!?!? I do own one now though, bought immediately after this....... experiment. Moving on. I used a spoon. Clearly I see why the melon baller is better. It's has a thinner but durable wall which will cut into the apple better. The spoon is rather dull so yea, didn't work so well. I had apples torn all over the place but I wasn't about to throw those bad boys away! 

You then you squeeze lemon juice on top to reduce browning. I didn't buy lemons (because the recipe simply states lemon juice). I guess any normal super mom/wife/party guru would know to buy lemons, not juice! I bought a bottle of lemon juice. Kind of hard to squeeze lemon juice out of a huge gaping hole in the top of a bottle. So... I poured some lemon juice in a bowl and rolled the pieces of apple around in the juice. It affected the flavor so I'll be using real lemons next time. After this, I'd recommend keeping the hollowed apples in a sealed container in the fridge. This will also reduce the browning. 

Next, you mix 1/2 cup water with an envelope of the caramel hot chocolate in a sauce pan. Whisk that sucker good to be sure all the hot chocolate is combined. Add in 1/2 cup of coconut milk and whisk again! You didn't do it right if your elbow doesn't hurt. 

You then sprinkle your gelatin on top and let sit for a few minutes. Notice the funny change. It begins to look slimey! After ogling over the funky reaction, turn the heat on low/medium and mix the gelatin until it’s all combined.

Add in ¼ cup sugar and simmer until the sugar is combined, BUT ONLY SLIGHTLY! Have you ever burned sugar? Don’t. I wouldn’t recommend it. Plus you have to start over. It’s a good thing I always buy double or triple of the recipe ingredients or else I’d have been screwed… I mean, sugar is a household ingredient but who the hell has knox gelatin and caramel hot chocolate just lying around? Oh wait, those perfect housewives do!

Anyway, after you add in the sugar, add in food coloring to get the color caramel you want. I used 4 and it was slightly too yellow. The original poster used two, so it’s all about your preference. After that’s done, let the mixture sit and cool down some to warm. Then add in ½ cup butterscotch schnapps or caramel vodka, whichever you chose. I used butterscotch schnapps. Next time I think I might try the caramel vodka. I bought both! Like I said, maybe I should’ve just chugged while I worked.

After arranging your apples in a container if you haven’t already (mine were arranged and in the refrigerator). Pour the caramel jello mixture into the apples and refrigerate overnight. This obviously sets up your jello and they’re best served cold anyway! I mean, they’re apples for crying out loud!

After they’ve been chilled, cut them in half, then cut those pieces in half again. I’d recommend a SHARP knife as a semi-dull one would totally screw up what you’ve done. If they’re browned, either trim off the brown area or toss those apples, but if you haven’t done a LOT, then well, you’re throwing away your product and alcohol! NOOOOOOO!

So… things I’d change would be how I hollowed the apples. As stated before, I’m not the proud owner of a melon baller. I will also buy actual lemons instead of lemon juice. I’m also going to try the vodka instead of schnapps. I might give these a go again for our New Year’s get together. Our group tends to just drink and forget the fruit, so…. I might not! I do see Jello shots in the future though.

I also failed to mention that this batch will fill about 10 whole apples (or 20 apple halves). So clearly if you need more you’d need to double up.

You’ll notice in the picture below that I have a MESS! I did mention somewhere up there that I had a lot of torn apples but that I wasn’t going to throw them away. I don’t throw perfectly good food away because it’s slightly flawed. It just turned out a little messy! According to my friends they were good, and most were eaten, but as also stated before, we kind of just swigged all night so we forgot about them later on!

Good luck to those who read this and give it a try!