Simply Summer's Eve™

On behalf of Crowdtap and Simply Summer's Eve, I received these amazing (in my opinion) products to try out! I fell in love! Samples (they were actually full size but it’s still considered a “sampling”) sent to me were a foaming body was, a pack of cleansing cloths and a box of individually wrapped cleansing cloths, all mandarin blossom smelling!

Let me tell you, these smell AMAZING! With the body wash, depending on what you use to wash with, doesn’t take much. I use a loofah so I honestly don’t know what a wash rag would require but I use 2-3 pumps and get a good bit of body wash and can thoroughly clean all of myself from neck to toes (excluding my head because I use face wash on my face and ears). The body wash cleans very well and the smell literally lingers all day long, even through sweat and getting dirty! The cloths, both packages are great for on the go. The individual wraps can be tucked in any small space and the regular pack can be tossed in the car or your purse or you can leave them home in a convenient place when you need them. I used the cleansing cloths after a day at the beach, in areas that the outdoor showers can’t clean and they worked GREAT. The only remnants of the beach were on or in the linings of the swimsuit itself. I was able to put on real clothes and ride home from the beach (an hour and a half ride) comfortably.

I’ve seen commercials many times for Summer’s Eve body washes but never for their cleansing cloths so I had no idea they existed. I am in love with them though! They do such an amazing job of cleaning where they need to clean. You really only need one, maybe two depending on the area and dirtiness and they leave a smell that lasts until you wash again! They’re easy to carry with you and share if necessary. I will be buying these in the future when I’m close to being out of the ones I have now and I hope anyone reading this gives them a try! They're affordable and AMAZING!

This post is sponsored by Summer’s Eve^® as part of a sampling activation for Crowdtap. I received complimentary products to facilitate my review. 

Judging other parents is so 2016!

Soooooo, I follow several parenting blogs, but 99.9% of them are women like myself (and some men bloggers too, who parent like I do). They tell the truth, or at least the truth about their lives with their families. They don't sugar coat ANYTHING and hold nothing back. They are what I call the REAL-WORLD parents. No, this doesn't mean that I think the happy and seemingly perfect families and parents aren't real, but seriously, I relate to these blunt parents sooooo much more! The ones who don't pretend life is always perfect and that there are no bad or moody depressing moments. The ones who will be honest about wanting to down a bottle of wine for breakfast and hide in the bathroom or closet for 5 minutes (or hours) of peace.

I realize I only have one kid, so people think I should have it easy (they've said so to my face and behind my back, cowards who are too scared to say it to my face), but there's nothing easy about being a parent. Being a parent means that you are responsible for the life of another person, every.single.day. It's your responsibility to keep them alive, relatively happy and healthy while trying to keep yourself in the same condition so that you CAN provide for that person, or persons, whether you have one child or eight! Add to that being a full-time caregiver for a sick family member and being a girlfriend who apparently spends a lot of time talking to herself and one can end up with quite the shit show. There are GREAT days, mediocre days and horrible days. It's all a part of life.

I don't write this for pity. I don't write this for anyone to feel bad for me or console me. I made all the choices in my life that have landed me where I am, but sometimes you just have to get it out. Whether it be written word, spoken word, hitting a punching bag, going for a walk, having a BOTTLE of wine before bed, etc. Whatever works!

Back to my point though, I love these particular blogs because they make me laugh, cry, get angry and many other emotions, but that’s because in reading their posts, I realize I'm really not alone despite how I feel sometimes, especially when I see so many happy shiny moments from friends on Facebook and other social media. I have however, come to realize that most people only post the happy moments. Not because they are ashamed of the not so happy moments, but because they often fear being judged and ridiculed.

I recently read a blog post by Lola Lolita, that focused on discipline, or rather, people judging parents about supposed lack of discipline. She vents about how other parents love to claim their kids would never behave a certain way, or they never did behave a certain way. My personal opinion, not hers, is that these people are on severely strong medication and they are in denial about how their children REALLY are or were. No one, and I mean no one has absolutely perfect children. A person can indeed have REALLY well-behaved children, however, children ALWAYS screw up somewhere at some point. Plain and simple. Especially if they are surrounded by other children, whether they are siblings, cousins, or kids at daycare, school, the park, etc. It’s a FACT OF LIFE. Back to the point, the blog post. She continues to talk about how very different her three children are, for many reasons. She has one child with high anxiety, one with a brain injury and one who is learning his own independence, and most importantly, THEY ARE CHILDREN. They are all learning who they are, have different needs and have a willpower that could surpass any adults, any day.

I know from experience. I only have ONE child and man is he a very independent 13-year-old and always has been. He tested his boundaries daily and still does. He is and was learning who he is and his limits. I hate this woman feels like she has to defend herself to those who judge her methods but unfortunately, that’s the world we live in now. Everyone judges everyone for every little thing. Everyone has an opinion, which isn’t a bad thing, but not every opinion needs to be expressed, especially when it has nothing to do with you or your life.

My favorite part of her post however, was the last little bit.

She says:

“In short, don’t be a dick. Parenting is hard enough as it is. Instead of rushing to judgment, try empathizing and finding the humor in the shit show. Camaraderie is so much more pleasant than pitting ourselves against one another.

We’re all in the parental trenches together. Let’s try to help each other out rather than sinking one another into the pit further."

THIS IS GOLD, PURE GOLD! We spend so much time judging others’ parenting methods that we tend to forget how much it can suck in our own home or out in public when our child misbehaves. Maybe that’s actually the point of judging others. When we judge others, it makes us feel better about how crappy a situation may be in our life and we focus on others’ behavior because it makes us feel better about our own insecurities, failures, poor choices, or just a rough patch we’re going through at the time. When people judge us, openly, in any fashion that we can witness it, we tend to think we're doing something wrong as parents, or we feel like they’re making us look bad, like we can’t control this little person half our size who to others seem easily controlled by a shout, or a pop on the bottom. The truth is, all children ARE different. Children can be born with the same DNA and makeup of their parents, but none of them, and I mean none of them, are exactly alike and one method of discipline or even a reward system may work for one child but not for another. I have many friends with multiple children who are nothing like each other. For instance, one child may be into sports and outdoor fun while the other may be super into technology. If the outdoorsy child gets in trouble, a spanking or being sent to their room might be a beneficial punishment but this won’t work for the other unless you also take away their lifeline, the tablet, phone, computer, whatever it is during that phase. Oftentimes kids get used to a punishment and it’s no longer going to work. 

My son for example, is in love with his phone and used to be in love with his Xbox. Because spanking him became a funny thing for him since he’s taller and more muscular than me, we began taking away his Xbox first because it was his love long before the phone was. After a while when he’d get in trouble and we’d sit down to talk to him, his response would be something along the lines of “I’m sorry, how long is my Xbox gone for?” At this point we knew this was no longer working because he didn’t seem to care if he didn’t have it anymore. Then it was the phone. At the moment, he is a very social child and likes to spend every free minute with his best friend so now the punishment is grounding to the house, no company and no phone or any other form of communication with his friends during that time frame unless it’s at school, during the school year. This one so far has lasted longer than the rest because he’s 13 and doesn’t want to be trapped inside the house while his friends are out doing things and having fun. Don’t get me wrong, my child isn’t a hellion by any means. He doesn’t throw fits. He doesn’t do too many stupid things, he doesn’t fight or talk back to teachers and he usually does what he’s told. He just has a smart mouth and as far as that USUALLY doing what he’s told, sometimes requires multiple reminders. When he’s confronted about things, he catches an attitude before he realizes it’s coming out of his mouth. He gets that from me and we’re working on it together as I don’t want him to be a terrible adult one day! His smart mouth, poor grades and failing to do his few chores are usually what gets him in trouble. 

My point is, discipline comes in many forms, just like children do. One method doesn’t always work and the form of discipline MUST change as the child grows and changes, as well as the way the world changes with how other people are, new technology always coming out, new crazy phrases, dances, fads, etc.

I’d also like to point out that in a previous paragraph, I said we because I've caught myself too many times watching a child throw a tantrum in a store and I thought to myself, "if he/she were my child, they'd have a nice ass cutting and would be sitting in the buggy for the rest of the shopping trip, I don’t care how old they are." There have also been many times where I’ve seen the parents doing absolutely nothing, letting the child do what they want, or watching a teenager smart mouth their parent in public and I’ve said something to set them straight. That wasn’t my place, and the truth is, I had no idea why those kids were behaving the way they were. I don’t know if the children suffered from mental illness, malnutrition, poor parenting, lack of love, whatever. I also had no idea what kind of day, week, month, however long, that family was having. They could have just lost a family member, adopted a new child that was used to poor foster parents or abusive biological parents, lost a job recently, or were getting a divorce. The truth is, I just had no idea and it probably wasn’t my place to step in. 

I may not have stepped in myself, but I was thrust into situations many times where I DID have to take control when someones kid was being an ass, especially when my friends and I would all get together and hang out. Several of them failed to do anything about their kids, which in that case, I totally blame on the parents. When you do what you want when you want and allow your children to do the same without ANY try at all to set them on a better path, you are to blame. However, when we were there, my son was always well behaved. He does extremely well in public, so at least I have that going for me! He was also the oldest of all the children so he’d try to keep them busy and having fun while the adults were having their time. If they got out of hand, my son would come get one of us but the parent would just say something like “tell him to stop that.” One in particular had children who would physically hit her and yell at her. On one occasion that we were all together, her child, smaller than mine, much smaller, punched my kid in the face and hit him with a television remote in the head, causing a bleed. I walked in the house and told her if she wasn't going to do anything, I would because that’s uncalled for regardless of who’s child he had hit. She just shrugged her shoulders at me. My son refused to hit him back because he was smaller than him. I turned the child around, popped his behind and told him if I caught him doing that again I would wear him out. He ran outside to tell his mother and she merely said, “well I guess you better listen to what she said.” Those types of parents, I still don’t feel like I have the right to judge, but I do believe they get whatever comes to them in regard to their kids in the present and in the future, because they failed to parent, at all! I mostly feel bad for those children though.

The biggest thing I want for anyone who reads this post, if anyone does, is to understand that there are MANY reasons while children may be lacking manners and good behavior in public. Unless you know for a fact what’s going on, keep your nose out of it. If you HAVE to say something, merely say “we’ve all been there and we understand.” This can mean so much to a parent struggling for whatever reason. Also, even if you know what’s going on, unless you’re going to say something reassuring and possibly offer POSITIVE help, then keep your damn mouth shut!

Learning as a parent....

My son is 13 now and considering all we've been through, I honestly believe we're lucky to both be alive and in one piece each. When I was 19 and found out I was pregnant, well, it wasn't necessarily a surprise but I certainly wasn't ready. I had no clue how to be a mom or what to do in any and all situations. Over the years however, I've learned a lot about myself. I've also learned a lot about being a parent and for every mother out there, no, I'm not perfect and I certainly don't do everything right, or at least right in most peoples' eyes, sometimes my own, but I'm surviving parenthood and my kid is surviving childhood and we're both happy. That's all that matters. Remember we're all just trying to get through this without going insane. While every parent does things differently, we all learn something new, whether it's our first or fifth child. Every day is an adventure. These are things I've learned since I became a mom 13 years ago today…

I’m capable. I have learned to do so many things I never thought I could do. Step on leggos without screaming at 2am while checking on a sleeping baby. Become a ninja when you check on them at naptime and see them roll over to look at you. Catch baby vomit, pee and poop in my hand. Gross I know but it’s happened, with all three of those bodily functions. Yes, my kid is 13 now so those days are behind me!!! Thank goodness. Point is, I learned that I'm capable of more than I ever thought I could be.

I’m a lot stronger than I ever thought I could be. I’ve had my heart broken multiple times since having my son and I handled it better than I ever did before I became a mom. I have handled so much that would’ve knocked many people down but I’ve gotten back up every time and come out stronger. It's all for him.

My heart is huge. I never thought I could have so much love for someone until my son was born. No matter what he does, my heart is always bursting with love for that kid.

They who they are. It doesn’t matter what you want them to be or who you want them to be, they are who they are. They’re going to be their own person and you should embrace it. I have always encouraged my son to be the best person he can be and do what makes him happy, preferably as long as it’s legal!

Time is precious. The last 13 years have flown by. Seriously. It feels like I held my little baby in my arms for the first time just yesterday. So much has happened in the last 13 years and it’s literally flown by. I remember his first steps, his first words, his first incoming and outgoing teeth, kindergarten graduation……and it all feels like it went by too fast. In 5 short years, my son will graduate high school and be an adult. Time please slow down…

Messy is OK. Kids are kids. If they get mud on the floor, remember they were outside making dirty but fun memories. If there’s glue on your couch, you can wash it off. Appreciate the homemade gift. Your children will remember the time you spent with them and the love you gave them more than they’ll remember a perfectly clean house. Believe me.

Simple moments really are the best. You don’t have to throw a $1000 birthday party every year or go to Disney every summer. Sitting with your child in a theater watching a movie of their choice and sharing a container of popcorn is enough. It doesn’t even have to be in a theater. My son and I watch movies at home all the time together. We go to the park and feed the ducks. We make a grocery run together. Even our simple short rides to and from school are quality time spent talking, laughing, singing and dancing. These are simple moments that your kids will love simply because they got to spend time with you.

We’re all learning. Every parent is different with how they do things. There’s no wrong way or right way. Breast vs. bottle. Circumcise your kid or don’t. Coddle or let them cry it out. Every parent has a different method, a different choice and they’re not wrong. Everyone has a reason for doing what they’re doing. As long as you think you’re doing it right and your kid is happy and healthy, that’s all that matters.

Traditions are memories in the making. Passing on a family recipe while teaching your child how to make it will feed their minds and bodies for a lifetime. Buying your child a new ornament every Christmas and giving them to your kid when they move out and have their own first tree. These are memories your children will have forever and will hopefully pass along to their own children.

Be a parent first. I know it’s tough to discipline your children and see that look on their faces or the “hurt” in their eyes. I know it will cut to the core if they ever tell you they hate you. Rest assured, they don’t and they will appreciate everything you’ve done for them one day, but this just means that you’re doing something right now. They “hate you” because they know they’re doing wrong and you’re not about to let them get away with it. Again, they’ll appreciate it one day and it will be lessons for them when they have kids of their own one day. It will also make them less of an asshole adult.

Pay attention. No matter what your kids are doing, pay attention. When they seem to be acting in a way that they don’t need you, it’s when they really need you the most. Something's wrong and they don’t know how to express it. Show them you care and that you’re there no matter what’s going on.

Love everything your child gives you. My son knows that he’s given me some crazy, random and possibly ugly stuff over the years. He’s said so himself now that he’s older. But accept those things because when they were created, it was the only way they could express their love for you at the time. They’ll remember this.

Use your words wisely and watch your actions. Kids pay attention to everything and absorb everything. Everything you say influences them. Your words and actions can make or break a child.

It’s guaranteed that your dominant parents voice and words will come out of your own mouth one day. I said I’d never be like my parents but I find myself sounding like my mother more and more every single day.

Wine. It makes the world go round, especially after a long tiring day when you just need to relax. Wine and a hot bath.

Everyone makes mistakes. Kids make mistakes. It’s what they do. They aren’t born knowing exactly what to do. It’s our job to teach our kids right from wrong. We let them make small mistakes, hope they learn from them, and try to keep them from making the big mistakes.

Having few true friends who understand your life and are still there is a huge thing. Once you become a parent, two things usually happen. You tend to lose most of your “friends” because they are either not parents and don’t seem to understand that you can’t go out all the time or they feel abandoned because you don’t call all the time and talk like you used to. One great thing you’ll come to find though, is that you will find some other new amazing parent friends. These are those people that know you don’t have to pick up the phone every day to stay friends but they’ll be there for you in crunch time and vice versa. I lost a lot of so called friends because I became a mom at 19. Most of my friends were single, living life, going to college and pursuing other things. Once I became a mom, they dropped like flies because I didn’t want to go out and party anymore. Nothing wrong with partying, we were all still so young, but once I got pregnant, I didn’t want it anymore. I had a human growing in me and I decided it was best for that humans life to focus on him. While the first few years were difficult for friendships, as time passed, I have made some amazing friends who are also parents who get it. They love me no matter what. They may disagree, and say so, with some of my decisions, but they still support my choices as a parent and know we’re all in it together doing the best we can.

The questions never end. This goes two ways. One being that your children NEVER stop asking questions. They’re young minds desire to learn and be molded. They are forever asking questions ranging from simple “what’s for dinner” to “where do babies come from?” My son is always asking me stuff and sometimes I feel like an idiot, but that’s ok. We usually end up learning something new together. The second way being, that we as parents never stop asking our own questions. "Am I doing this right? What the hell am I going to do about dinner when we won’t be home until 10pm and have no money to go out? Where am I going to send my kids to school? What the hell was I thinking?" That being my favorite to ask because I always feel like I’m making mistakes, in my life and in his. I always wonder what he’ll be like as an adult and will it be a reflection of what I’ve done over the years. Will he be an engineer or a felon? No one wants to ask that question but let’s face it, it’s always a possibility no matter how great of a job you do as a parent.

Be prepared for anything. I mean anything. Be prepared to change a crappy diaper in a parking lot at a fancy restaurant. Be prepared to stop on the side of the road or clean barf out of your car. Be prepared to send your kid to a private school. Be prepared to answer questions you don’t know the answers to. Be prepared to use Google a lot. Be prepared for an unending pile of dirty laundry and dirty dishes. Be prepared for people to randomly stop by when your house is a disaster. (This is ok by the way, it means your home is lived in and your kids are happy!) I mean, a lot! Be prepared. Just be prepared…

Everyone has an opinion. Seriously. No matter what you do, everyone is going to have an opinion about whether you’re doing a good job or not. Crazy part is, most of these highly opinionated people don’t even have kids and have no clue what you’re going through. Just nod, say thanks and keep on moving. It’ll be less stressful than trying to tell them they have no right to tell you what to do.

Privacy. Yea right. This goes out the window when you have kids. You will most likely never shower alone again. Even if they aren’t in the room with you, they’ll be standing outside the door asking where something is or when you’re going to be done. Even at 13, my son still finds something he needs or wants the minute that shower turns on.

Forget your selfish needs. By this, I mean, forget wanting anything ever again! Don’t get me wrong, I still buy things I want or need sometimes, but my son always comes first. If I want a new pair of shoes but he has a field trip coming up or summer camp, you can bet the money is going to him first. The shoes can wait. I have everything I NEED and I want him to have memories and a childhood that he can tell his future kids about. Now this doesn’t mean that you have to spoil your kids rotten with every new gaming system, electronic device or brand name shoe that hits the market. You just learn what to value more and hopefully teach that to your children as well.

Remember what I said earlier about everyone having an opinion. We were all there once too. Sometimes we still look at other parents and say things like “I would never do that with my child or allow him to have this or that for dinner.” Face it. You will eat your words one day. When you’ve been in the grocery store for over an hour and your child is whining and only wants a candy bar, you’ll end up giving in. When you’ve had a super busy long day full of work, field trips, laundry, sports events, etc. and you have no energy to cook dinner, you’ll be thrilled to hit up McDonald’s or go home and fix a bowl of cereal. Oh well. Your kid ate right?

You learn to laugh at yourself and your kids and you teach them it’s ok to do the same. When your kid goes running down the hall and falls for no reason, you’re going to laugh. It’s funny. He’ll cry but if he sees you laughing, he’ll quit, get up and laugh at himself even if he doesn’t realize it. It’s ok to laugh at your screw ups and it’s great to teach your child that it’s ok, as long as it isn’t a big screw up. You’ll learn to laugh at a bowl of spaghetti dumped upside down on your sofa. You might not be thrilled but yelling at your child for an accident only hurts them and life is too short to be mad at everything.

You’ll probably never get anywhere on time again. Even if you were the perfect on time person before your child came along or even a few years into their life, it will eventually end, especially as they get older. Children move slower than anything you’ve ever witnessed. As babies, you can prepare everything they’ll need the night before you go somewhere. As kids, you have to constantly get after them to get moving, get dressed, hurry up and eat, brush their teeth. It’s always something. One child can be tough. And that’s all I have. But friends of mine who have multiple children are never on time. I’m ok with that. I get it!

Participation does not deserve a trophy. I know that might sound harsh but when I was my son's age, we didn't get ribbons or trophies just for participating. Teach your child that while it's awesome to win, it's ok to lose too. It builds character. Teach them to remember that when they're winning someone else is losing and that it happens to all of us. We can't all be good at everything we try but to try everything you want to. Whether you're good or bad, you can say you tried and you never know what you're good at if you don't try it at least once. You also might not get it the first time but keep trying if it's something you really want. 

Parent bashing is a no-no. This should be a no-no whether you're a parent or not, but non-parents love to say how they'd never do this or that when they become a parent and they want to tell you every thing that you should and shouldn't do with your kids. Other parents can be the same. "Well I breastfed and it's best so why didn't you?" "Why would you take him out in freezing cold weather just for milk?" First off, none of this is anyone else's business. Secondly, as long as your kid is happy and healthy, that's all that matters. If you have no milk in the house and no money for a babysitter, you bundle the kid up and roll out. If you bottle fed then so what? Too many people judge without knowing someone else's story and we as parents REALLY don't need anymore judgement. Ok, so my kid eats junk food. I am usually in workout pants, t-shirt, no bra and the proverbial mom pony-tail. Who cares? My kid plays sports, lots of sports, and eats healthy several nights a week so the workouts and healthy food outweigh the limited junk he has. I have no one to impress and I'm tired from doing everything and running everyone around. I am not dolling up to look good for other sports moms. The point is, again, if your kid is happy and healthy screw other parents bashing you. Also remember that you don't like how it feels so don't do it either. Just support each others' decisions and move along. Parents need support systems more than opinions.

We're all in this trying to do what's best. We're all trying to be good parents so just keep doing what you're doing and parent on!

Small families and the holidays

So... I'm fairly thankful that I have a small family. With the holidays approaching, I shudder to think of what I'd do if we had a super large family and had to host people in our home.

The only time I've ever hosted an actual holiday dinner in my home, my grandmother was the only person invited and it pissed the rest of my family off.

My black boyfriend wasn't allowed in her (my grandmother) home, not by her doing, but because other family members might be offended (whatever) and that's where we always have holiday dinners, even now that she's passed on. There were two individuals who married into the family that didn't care for mixing the races as far as dating goes so to keep them from being uncomfortable, my man wasn't invited.

So… basically we were made to feel uncomfortable and unwelcome. I mean, we, as in actual family, could attend, and I normally wouldn't choose someone I'm not married to over my own family but their reasons were stupid. We were eating dinner, not having an orgy.

I decided if he couldn't eat there, then the five of us would eat here and I invited my grandmother because she told me herself he would've been welcome regardless. Even though it was her house, everyone else rallied against it.

I did a great job on cooking everything and we had a traditional Christmas meal. I mean, we normally eat hamburger helper, spaghetti or something I can throw in the crock pot, oven or pressure cooker. I love one pan/pot/dish meals! But I pulled it off all by myself! Yay for me. But boy was it a lot of hard work.

I'm the type of person to literally clean when I learn company's coming over because we NEVER have company and I despise cleaning. I do the dishes, clean up the kitchen and do the laundry. I keep the bathrooms less than disgusting. That's about the extent of my cleaning. I have kids. One legit kid and one grown kid (my man). Neither knows how to pick up after themselves and they're both old enough to do so. One even gets PAID to clean up and apparently it's easier to wait for Christmas and Birthday to ask for presents instead of working for money to buy throughout the year. I get sick of it so my house is a mess.

There are cooking pans and boxed/canned foods on the table. Storage boxes with stuff we use on a semi-regular basis stacked in random places. Blankets on the couch that don't belong there. Shoes all over the place. Dust on the ceiling fans and perhaps a spider web sans spiders in the corners of the living room and dining room, neither of which we frequent. We're more of a "our bedrooms are our sanctuaries, we only leave to fix our plates, use the restroom, shower and leave the house." Seriously. I'm not kidding. We're a distant family inside these walls. We love our space and privacy. Outside the home we're social and fun together. It works. My kid is loved and he knows it. That's good enough for me and he does spend some quality time in my room with me watching TV shows we like.

Getting back on track. Family dinners. Even now that my grandmother is gone, we still use her old home which was left to my youngest 1st cousin, for family dinners. Much of it is cooked there by my cousin but we all kind of pot luck it. We all bring something to contribute. My contribution used to be deviled eggs but apparently my oldest 1st cousin one-upped me on those and the family believe paprika tastes good on eggs. Yuck. But, I can make my grandfather's potato salad and NO ONE ELSE CAN so I win there! That and a dessert, since I LOVE to bake, are my contributions.

That one dinner for five almost killed me. If I had to feed my whole family I would die. It's relatively small and we all live close to each other so there's no travel, no hosting of family, no changing tradition by switching up houses. We tried that two years in a row and confused everyone!

My boyfriends family is a different story. They bounce around at the holidays and his family is HUGE! All the women cook stuff and bring it to the designated location. When I say they cook stuff, think of about 50 women cooking a minimum of 2 dishes each. There's so much food to choose from you have no idea what to get! I love eating with his family but sometimes I just have to take a break and eat with my family. I love the traditional food we have and the way they've cooked it for years and I prefer to be in a smaller anti-social setting!

By the way, this current boyfriend is allowed at family gatherings because he made everyone in my family so comfortable by joining in that they love him and don't see color! The ex was anti-social and an ass. He's the one who wasn't allowed at family functions! oh well....

Ahh, holidays. Can't wait for Christmas! At Thanksgiving dinner I pigged out. Can't wait for TURKEY! Let the "screw my diet season" continue!

"Playful" Sense of Humor

So I've expressed in a previous post that I was envious of some of the mommy bloggers whose blogs I follow. I can't help it. They're smartass, snarky moms who are rocking it and totally kicking ass. One blog I found, I'm playing catch up on her old posts and I'm dying! She wrote a post about terrible toys produced over the years and some have me dying of laughter and others I'm looking at going, "hey, I'd totally love that," and all the while thinking that anyone reading this is going to think I'm insane. I've never been tested for a mental illness but I'm a sarcastic sick ass at times. Here are my favorite 5 that left me dying for air! Since it's Christmas time and all, maybe you want to pick one up for your little ones!!!!! Or not….

1. Insane asylum for children!
Yes, that's a "strait" jacket. Personally, I would have loved this as a kid. It looks like fun and sometimes I think I need one now! Believe me, if my hands were tied up I'd do a lot less damage. I probably need the Hannibal Lector mask too because my mouth needs some shutting sometimes. I have no filter. Ever.

2. Now this next little gem, I can understand the hesitation in buying.
See what I did up there, this little "gem?" HAHA! Yes, that is a noose with gems on it. For the fashionable suicide or homicide. Seriously. Who would buy this for their kid. "Here you go darling, Merry Christmas! Now, go play with your brother." Um, no. I'm totally kidding! Sort of. I wouldn't seriously have fed my son this way, BUT, it might have come in handy when he seemed to only be hungry during the hours of 1 and 5am. Don’t worry. He's 12 now. He can hold his own cups. Unless your husband is harboring same sex tendencies, I don't think he'd want Superman giving him a blow job but then again, who knows?!?!? Throw some make-up and a wig on that bad boy and go to town! We all know this is a decorating tool. It's not sexual at all. I've never met a man who's penis had pearls around the head and swirls down the base, unless they were added to enhance sexual pleasure!

3. Now this, I could've used when my son was born.

4. This one… I'm just like, who the hell would buy this for their kid? Their husband maybe, then again maybe not.

5. This one had every parent in the world uncomfortable for a while and I really can't figure out why. hmmmmmm 

Happy toy shopping y'all!

Why does my weight bother you??????

Setting aside many peoples’ obvious explanation of “taxpayers dollars pay for your healthcare when you choose to not take care of yourself,” why does my weight really bother you? Seriously, let’s set that aside, because not all “large” people make themselves fat, and believe it or not, many people pay for their OWN health coverage when they need the help.

Another fun little fact for you “fat shamers” out there, not all skinny people are healthy. Some eat the worst food on the planet and just metabolize it faster than others. Please, don’t ask me for research. I’ve done it but to be honest, if you’ve read any of my other blog posts, you’ll know I tend to tell you to do your own. Let’s not get things twisted here and assume I’m too lazy to post the links. I’m not. I honestly believe people learn from doing their own research. When I have a question, I look for an answer on my own. I don’t simply ask someone who might know. Sure, I talk to my friends and discuss these things, but I also do the research myself because no one knows everything. I tell my son the same thing. When he asks a question, I give him the answer if I know it but I also tell him to google it and look for reliable sources. One of the main things I did in college was research papers. That is not an exaggeration. Ninety percent of my school work required some form of research and many of it was writing papers based on that research. They will deduct points for using non-reliable sources so you learn quick to weed out the ones that are just people spouting what they think they know. I have expressed this to my son on so many occasions. You can’t believe everything you read or hear so research and decide what’s legit and what isn’t.

Enough of me pushing you to research and learn things on your own and back to my original thoughts. I am a large girl and yes, I did this to myself. Growing up, we were originally pushed, by my mother, to eat healthy. My mother battled anorexia and bulimia her entire life from high school beyond. Even after we were born, she’d either eat healthy, like a bird, or not at all. Twice a year she’d actually eat, and I mean eat, but it wasn’t necessarily healthy. These times were Christmas when she would devour box after box of chocolate covered cherries, and Girl Scout cookie time when she’d buy hundreds of dollars of Thin Mints. Just smelling peppermint patties makes me think of her and reminds me of those times. When we were born and for many years after, my mother made a relatively healthy home cooked meal every night and made sure our snacks consisted of fruit from the trees we had in our own yard or pairings like celery sticks and ranch or peanut butter but never in huge portions. We were living in two places at once at the time. We lived in one house during the week and on the weekends we came home to the place my dad grew up. When he was promoted to a higher position and relocation came with that position, we moved back to his childhood town permanently. It was around this time that my mother got tired of being a mom, for lack of better words. She became tired of cooking every night, cleaning up dishes half the night and doing everything while we did nothing and honestly, didn’t show any appreciation. Living in two homes before, we had chores and allowance. It was tough for her to keep up with two houses and it was our job to help. When we moved for good, we became lazy and when mom and dad would fight over us, dad would just buy us all off. Literally. He’d spoil us with whatever we wanted and to keep mom happy he’d do the same with her. My family kind of fell apart. Mom gave up and let us do what we wanted. This included eating what we wanted. We went from home cooked meals every night to microwave dinners or canned ravioli or whatever we chose ourselves on our weekly grocery shopping trips. For me this consisted of a lot of junk food. She didn’t feel like fighting us in the grocery store so we got what we wanted there. Of course my sister got my mother’s metabolism and can eat anything without gaining a pound. I on the other hand did not inherit that wonderful gene. If I even look at a pack of cookies, I gain five pounds. Back then I didn’t care. I was like 6 years old. Back then, 6 year olds didn’t care about their size or really how they looked. My mother didn’t like it so much. Because of her disgust with fat, she ridiculed me all the time. I was always fat and disgusting, but she never took the cookies and ice cream from me. Am I blaming her? No, not entirely, but yes, partially. Instead of calling me fat, she could’ve told me she wanted me to be healthier and she could’ve stopped buying the junk food. Instead it was easier to let me do what I want, think I was gross looking and ridicule me. I honestly believe that she thought if she said it enough, it would make me want to eat better and lose weight. Honestly, it only made me eat more. Part of it was depression and part of it was just trying to show her that I didn’t care.

Sure, in high school I got picked on for being fat. The part I always found ironic was that most of the girls doing the picking were the same size or bigger than me. To this day I’m really not sure why they thought my fat was worse than theirs, but the beauty of it was, I quit caring early on. I had a boyfriend who loved every inch of me. It wasn’t until I found out that I was pregnant, that I really began caring. I ate somewhat better during my pregnancy and afterwards. I only gained 15lbs during my pregnancy and 7lbs11oz was baby. I was 230lbs after he was born and stayed that way for two and a half years. Mind you, I was 180lbs when I graduated high school and gave birth to my son a year and a half later. I wasn’t losing weight and didn’t try to but I wasn’t gaining and swore I never would. That never works! I should’ve known better! Setting aside his weight, I had gained pretty much 50lbs in that time frame. I went to college a year after my son was born and after a year and a half of on campus classes, I spent my summer taking hybrid courses. Instead of running back and forth on a college campus all day five days a week, I was sitting at home doing my school work on a computer. I was bored and I snacked the entire time. By the time I had my annual gynecology appointment the following April I weighed in at 330. I gained 100lbs in less than a year!!! I was actually ashamed and it didn’t help that my OB said, and I quote, “you need to lose weight no matter what. I don’t care if you have to starve yourself.” What doctor tells someone that? He’s no longer my gynecologist and to be honest, I seriously thought about starving myself just to sue his ass. I realized before I did that, that it wouldn’t help anyone and would only hurt me in the long run.

You’d think that would’ve given me motivation but no, it didn’t. I was just ashamed and felt disgusting. I was wearing clothes that were too big to hide my rolls and my huge thighs. I was still snacking on junk food and being born and raised in the south, most of our meals consisted of fried foods. I was cooking dinner for my whole family so I cooked what I liked. My family didn’t complain! Again people, we’re from the south. Fried food is a delicacy around these here parts!!! Yes, I meant to type it like that.

I was trying in some ways though. For a while I went walking every day, then I got lazy. I started eating more vegetables and having them with dinner every night but that still didn’t help. It wasn’t until I saw the weight beginning to pack on to my then 10-year-old son that I felt terrible. I hated that he would turn out like me one day. I wasn’t ashamed of how he looked and I’ve always made sure he’s known that. When we talk about food, I always tell him I want him to eat healthier because I don’t want him to have to deal with all the health risks my family lineage carries: heart attack, diabetes, stroke, cancer and so many other things. I never tell him he’s fat or gross because to me he is the most amazing child I know and I don’t want to crush his spirit like my mom crushed mine. I also don’t think he’s fat or gross but he is overweight for his age. He’s not huge, he’s only overweight by a few pounds, but I know it could only get worse if I didn’t do something. I still didn’t exercise or become physical but we did start eating better. We began pressure cooking, slow cooking, and baking most of our meals. We’d choose leaner cuts of meat and chicken and healthier types of fish. We use as little oil and grease as possible. It was a baby step for us.

It wasn’t until January 2015 when my doctor HAD to put me on blood pressure pills that reality hit. It probably doesn’t help things that I started smoking right after that too. I loved it though. The cigarettes helped calm me down and loosen my stress and they also suppressed my appetite. I lost 50lbs last year. I was at 360 when I started and I’m currently at 310. I know that’s still not great by any means, but I am more comfortable in my skin. I wear tighter clothes but not trashy. I just wear clothes that fit my shape and enhance my better areas, yes, boobs and ass! I’m a work in progress. I want to get off my meds, sleep better at night and most importantly, I want to be here for my son. I want to be able to do things physically with him, like ride bikes, play sports, practice with him without getting winded. Most importantly I want to live for him. I want to see him walk across that stage in 6 years and earn his high school diploma. I want to see him graduate college if that’s the path he chooses, and get married and have kids of his own. I want to be around for all that and healthy while I’m at it. I don’t want to lose weight to be “cute.” I’m already friggin’ adorable! I want to lose weight to be healthy.

Like I pointed out before, not all skinny people are healthy though, so I’m smart enough to know that just losing weight isn’t enough. I need to exercise to stay fit and keep my heart strong. I need to eat healthier so I’m not packing my body full of unnatural fatty toxic things that make me weaker.

Most importantly, when I’m trying to be a better person food wise, I try to really involve my son. I want him to make healthier choices solely because I don’t want him to go through what I’m going through and I don’t want him to end up with so many health issues associated with eating poorly. I urge you to read the contents of the food you buy in the store, choose more natural foods, grow your own if you can, and if you have kids, eat healthy for and with them and never ever tell them they’re disgusting, or fat, or gross. Teach them healthier ways because you want them to be healthy, not because you want them to be skinny or cute (according to you).

happy dead soldier day

I am sure that when people read that title, IF people even read it, that I’m going to get all sorts of hate comments and evil things said to me before they even read the post itself. I may also still get hateful remarks, but the thing about me is, I don’t care. I honestly don’t. I write what I know, I write what I feel. If people are willing to hate me for that without really knowing who I am, then so be it.

Now, back to the title of this post and my reason for writing it. Today is just that, it’s a day created for remembering those military personnel who have died while serving this country. Don’t get me wrong, as a child, we loved Memorial Day, because we were still in school at this time and it gave us an extra day off. Ironically, my son’s school has decided this year that they will attend Memorial Day for half of a day as a make-up day for bad weather we had last year in which they missed several days of school. Man, I said “day” a lot in that last sentence.

We’ve never really partied hard for Memorial Day or anything like that, and we’ve rarely used it as an excuse to cook out. This year, we are supposed to be having friends over and grilling out, but honestly, it’s not really because of the day that it is. It’s because most of our friends happen to be off for the “holiday” and is the only time we can all get together for a cook-out. I feel like a hypocrite as I write this. I really do, and I’m embracing it. I truly am because I know all of that sounds like bullshit. Here I am, getting ready to condemn those who use this day as an excuse to party, when we’re planning on doing the same thing. Well, at least I can admit it. At least I can sit here and type and tell you all that yes, Memorial Day will be a cook-out day for us. But that’s not what the day is about.

I have seen so many social media posts containing memorials and articles and such, basically saying, let’s remember those who have fallen for our rights. Then they turn around and party at the beach, have cook-outs, get super drunk and don’t even think about the dead. It’s another day to party and have fun. It’s an excuse for a long weekend. It’s an excuse to hit up all the amazing sales and get new stuff dirt cheap. Why has everything become so commercialized anyway? A day for remembering the dead has turned into a day of fun, festivities and shopping. Those who died, died for us to be able to do all this fun stuff and to me it seems like we’re just spitting on their graves. I’d like to think that I take it a little more seriously than many do because I do remember them. I remember many friends who have died in service. I remember family members barely making it back alive. I know many friends who have lost family and friends of their own while fighting for this country. I keep in touch with troops, send care packages and such, but I guess the reality is, I’m a hypocrite because as stated earlier, we are getting together for a cook-out. Hindsight now tells me that if we truly wanted to honor those fallen, we’d have visited a military cemetery, those we know who have fallen, visited families of those who’ve lost loved ones, volunteered somewhere, something other than eating and drinking a few beers.

Next year I’ll be better and I hope the rest of the country will too.

who doesn't love a great house????

So, last year we HAD to renovate our kitchen. We had NO CHOICE. The floor literally fell through, with my son standing on it. Don't worry, no one was hurt. His foot went through a little and he was able to move quickly to avoid going any further. Turns out the water line running to the ice machine in the freezer had a hole in it. How that happened I have no clue! Regardless, it leaked under the cabinet and we didn't know because the subfloor under the ceramic tile absorbed it, held it and rotted everything underneath.

ANYWAY, I have chosen NOW, more than a year later, to become obsessed with house hunting and fixer upper shows. Perhaps it’s because there are so many other areas of this house that we still have to fix up and replace and renovate. It all sounds so exhausting just typing that. Watching these shows, I realize quite a few things we’ve done wrong with our renovations, however, at the moment, our kitchen and bedroom function and provide what we need. So they’re staying as is. Aside from learning a few things, I also realize how aggravated I get with these people. I realize it’s for entertainment, so obviously they only show us a select few when we really know they did more or showed more houses, however, you have to admit that you want to strangle most of these people upon watching these shows. Let’s start with the house hunting shows.

House Hunters

Budget:

I recently watched an episode with a blended family. When the husband and wife met, she had 5 kids, he had 2. They married and added one more. She stays at home. Doesn’t work. How in the hell can they afford a $1.685 million dollar home?????? She’s a widow so maybe she off’ed her husband for a sizeable life insurance policy. Who knows!?!? I just wonder how half of these people have the budgets they have. New college graduates with a $900k budget. Single mom with a $800k budget and 5 kids. REALLY!!!!

Lack of communication between buyers:

Clearly spouses do not communicate with each other before taping the show. Neither knows what the other one wants and they argue about what they like about each house. I’m honestly surprised they can knock all this down into a 30 minute episode.

Open concept:

I realize this is popular now. Don’t get me wrong, I love being able to be in my kitchen and look into the living room and see friends or family. However, I’m sick of people whining about open concept homes or lack thereof, when there’s actually a version of it in the house. What I mean by this, if there is a wall between your living room and kitchen but there’s a huge gaping cut out in the wall, big enough for people to jump through, IT’S OPEN CONCEPT DAMMIT!

Perfect house, minor imperfections:

Don’t get me wrong. I understand wanting your home to perfect, especially those desiring a turn-key home. However, if the only thing you dislike is paint color in a few rooms, get off your ass, buy brushes and paint and paint it yourself. Or if your budget is $200k and you get the home for $100k, PAY SOMEONE TO PAINT! It’s really that simple.

Speaking of imperfections:

If your budget is $200k, you’re not going to get all the amenities of a $700k home. It’s not going to happen. Face it. Deal with it. Get over it. You’re going to have to give on something!

Toying with other peoples’ stuff:

I realize many of these homes are “staged” but some are not. Some of that stuff really belongs to the people currently living there. Laying in their bed, crawling in their tub, not acceptable, in my humble opinion. It’s weird and creepy. Don’t do it.

Over budget:

I get that money is money. I’m poor by many peoples’ standards and I’m TOTALLY fine with that. I have friends, family and I do have somewhere to live. I’m good. However, if you’re looking for a home and it’s $1k over budget, you can afford it. Negotiation. Many people get homes for less than listing price so don’t stand on national television going “it’s so high and so much over budget!” Unless you’re RENTING, that’s not over budget.

Moving on…

Tiny House Nation/Tiny House Hunters

Basically, everything I said before still applies here, however, there is one other thing that drives me nuts about this show in particular.

It’s too small:

Well duh. What did you expect? You can’t say in front of the world, “we’re looking to downsize and lead a simpler life” and then turn around and say “but there’s not enough room for all my clothes.” Well again, it’s a TINY HOUSE. It’s meant for living and function, not indulging in millions of dollars’ worth of materialistic things. Plain and simple. I know it’s a transition but if you’re ready for the transition then you can surely get rid of some of your stuff.

On to the fixer upper shows!

Love It or List It

I absolutely love this show, however, I want to choke homeowners from EVERY SINGLE EPISODE.

Let’s start with your HOME renovations. If your home was built in the 50s and not updated, please do not give Hilary a tiny budget then get pissed at HER when you can’t have a brand new home because she found a leak in your water lines or something with the electrical that was hidden behind a wall. Be thankful that she kept your home from flooding or burning down. Seriously, there’s only so much she can do.

Something else that really annoys me about people and their budget. If your home is CURRENTLY valued at $700k and we all know that the value will go up with ANY renovations, then please, I don't want to see you get really upset over the perfect home that's $10-$100k over your budget of $750k. First of all, if you were selling your home as is, you were only borrowing $50k to begin with to purchase a new home. Assuming your homes value increases by $80-$150k, you'll be EARNING money from the sale of your home. You'll come out with a profit of $30k and above! I understand you borrowed money most likely to renovate your home, but you'll still come out either breaking even or with profit so stop grumbling about the home when you love it and it's perfect for your family. If you'll break even or come out with money in your pocket, GREAT. The last episode I watched, the new value of their home was $775k and the home they wanted was $800k. It was originally $50k over their budget and is now only $25k over budget. You're going to have to borrow $25k. That is NOT A LOT when your current homes original value, with no renovations, was $650k but you were going to purchase a home for $750k. You were willing to borrow $100k but now you're grumbling about borrowing $25k. I'm so confused.

If you’re unhappy in your space and David finds you a home with everything you need, where you want, at or UNDER your budget, then stop complaining about a paint color or placement of a staged couch! Seriously. All that shit will be gone when you move in or can be quickly taken care of with a paintbrush and paint.

Something else that kills me about people with spacious homes. If there’s only two people living in a 4 bedroom house with 3 bathrooms, a garage, a home office, a huge kitchen and a huge living room, please do not complain about space, when we can clearly see that 2 bedrooms look like an episode of hoarders and your living room has 8 chairs and 3 sofas. CLEAN UP AND ORGANIZE YOUR SHIT. If you have a 2000 sq. ft. home and there’s only two of you, you can make it work. Trust me. There are 4 people, 1 dog and 2 cats in my small double wide trailer and we’re just fine!

Fixer Upper

This show is just hilarious! Seriously. People BUY these homes with the intention of turning them into their dream homes but then complain about budget or issues with the foundation or having to rewire the entire home. If you pick the ugliest, most screwed up looking home, you should realize that it's going to be work and it's going to take money. Did you not think about what you were getting into before you went the route of a fixer upper??????

I'd also like to discuss one more show that I have recently become obsessed with and I have NO CLUE WHY! Flip or Flop.....

I love watching them turn something horrible into something great. What I don't get, is how they manage to get houses that have to be partially torn down and such. Ok, so there have been tons of episodes where they bought homes with non-permitted additions that have to be torn down and they get so upset because it takes away the value of the home because they lose a room. Explain to me how once they finish the home, they have to have an inspection before it can be listed and if someone makes an offer, it has to be appraised, but all this doesn't have to be completed when the home is originally listed and they purchase is to flip. Is it the sites they find the homes listed on? Is this some weird law that California has? I just don't get it. You would think if it has to be inspected and appraised AFTER being flipped, then it should be before it's sold the first time around.

Also, I'm getting sick of seeing them get screwed over because they pay someone to do a job and it has to be done again because the job wasn't done AND they have to pay again. Maybe this is a set up for television. I honestly do not know. However, I will say, if I pay someone to come out and level my foundation and I come in the next day and it isn't level, you can bet your ass they're coming back to do it free of charge or we're going to court. If I pay you to do a job, then do the damn job. Plain and simple.

Yes, I am basically jealous of all these people that can afford ANY of these homes, but that doesn't change the fact that I think they're all naive idiots!

school pickup and drop off etiquette

Ok. So I know that the school year is ending or has already ended for many of you, so let this post be a guide for next school year if your child is a car rider. I'm going to say that I am THRILLED the year is ending. I need a couple months of recuperation from dealing with the idiots on the road today, especially when it comes time to drop off and pick up of our children from school.

I know that all schools are different, have different pick up and drop off areas and may or may not have parking spaces in a designated area. Before I get into my rant, let me tell you a little about my son’s designated area. When you pull in the school there’s a small parking lot for staff and visitors. If you keep driving, there’s a loop that circles around to the side of the school where parents drop off or pick up their children. There are cones outlining a one lane section to drive THROUGH. It’s just that simple. You drive around the loop, drop off your kid and keep moving. In the afternoons we line up in the loop and pick our kids up as they are released and we keep moving. Plain and simple. Sounds easy enough right? Not for some people apparently, so let’s get started.

Drop Off Etiquette:

1. Our school day begins at 7:50. This means they want the kids in their classrooms by this time, not getting out of the car or walking into the school at this time. We’ve been late, several times this year but nothing that would cause a letter or phone call home. However, this doesn’t stop me from giving my child a kiss goodbye in the morning. Yes. He’s 12. However, in the world we live in lately, I don’t know if this might be the last time I see him or he sees me so we’re sure to always say I love you and give a quick peck on the cheek before parting. We do not however, take 20 minutes to say goodbye. So if I’m taking 2 seconds to say goodbye to my son and you’re behind me, do NOT beep your horn at me to move, especially if your child isn’t even all the way out of your vehicle. If I’m late, then you’re super late which means you didn’t leave early enough and did this to yourself.

2. With one in place, let me also say, there is no need to take 20 minutes to say goodbye. As you’re pulling up, do what we do. Say goodbye and give loving words as you’re coming to a stop. Give a quick peck on the cheek as they’re opening the door. Push them out and keep on rolling. Ok, don’t actually push them out but you know what I mean.

3. To prevent delay in the drop off area, have your and your childs’ shit together. Either before you go to bed the night before, or before you leave your house in the morning, have their bag packed, papers signed, homework completed and so forth BEFORE you get to school. Have your childs bag in their lap when you pull in so your kid can unbuckle, jump out and head into the school.

4. You do not need to pull up and PARK in the drop off lane and walk your child in. It’s about 10 feet from your car to the school door. I promise they can walk it alone. In elementary schools there are usually staff members outside so your little one WILL be safe. If you absolutely have to go into the school, then park in the PARKING LOT. Do not block the area where everyone else has to drive through.

5. With all that being said, I can make exceptions for kids with special needs. However, if it’s a wheelchair concern, no offense but you can still park in the parking lot. There’s a very nice flat smooth concrete walkway all the way from the parking lot to the school entrance.

Pick up Etiquette:

1. Be patient. We’re all there to pick up our children and we cannot make administration let them out any faster just because your child got out of the building before mine. They have a system in which grade levels are let out in a certain order. There’s nothing that you or I can do about it but sit and wait on our kid to get out. No need to get angry with one another.

2. Get. Off. Your. Phone. Seriously. Please. Ok, if you got there 30 minutes early, I understand spending some of that time on your phone. However, if the line is moving, it’s time to put the phone down and pay attention. First of all, there are moving cars that you could hit or could hit you. Secondly, in my son’s case, 6^th grade is still elementary school (they’re small schools) so there are lots of little kids out there. Yes, there are staff members watching the children, but we all know how quickly children can get away. If you’re not paying attention, you could smush someone’s child, or even your own.

3. If your child is old enough to be in the school, they can open a door and buckle a seatbelt. There is absolutely no reason for you to get out, bring their book bag around to the other side of the vehicle and then walk back around to get them in. All unnecessary. They can get themselves and their bag in the vehicle and buckle their own seatbelt.

Please people. It really is that simple. Seriously. Things would move a lot smoother and a lot more quickly if we just follow these simple rules.

Transgenders In the Restroom: Just let them pee!

I just want to point out that I am so sick of seeing this shit in the media. It brings out the worst in people. It brings out pure hate and has really shown me lots of peoples’ true colors. If I’m sick of seeing it, why am I writing about it? I want to have my final say because I’m sick of people asking me my opinion or bringing it up in conversation.

Let’s first point out, that this is a media tactic to distract everyone from other PRESSING issues. Seriously. We have people trying to kill us. Cops are being gunned down every day. Every day people are being gunned down every day. Kids are being bullied in school. Children are dying from random illnesses. But no, all you can see in the media right now is this transgender bathroom bullshit.

With this current issue, people only seem to think about a man walking in a women's restroom and molesting their daughter or raping a woman. THIS IS HAPPENING REGARDLESS! A man, dressed as a man, walked into a women's bathroom and molested an 8 year old girl recently. Where exactly did transgender play into this? Think I’m making it up to make a point, check out the article here. This is happening all the time, all over the place and it’s not happening by transgender individuals. People seem to think that word automatically means “child molester” or “rapist.” No, for the most part, it’s individuals who feel they were born into the wrong body trying to make it right for themselves. Let them be dammit!

Let's look at it this way for a moment. This could actually REDUCE the amount of bathroom incidents. Parents might actually start being parents and going in the restroom with their children instead of sending them in alone while they do whatever in the store. I cannot even count how many times I have witnessed a parent or parents let their children, small children, no older than 6, go into a restroom alone while they continued to shop, eat, or converse with friends. These kids are too young to be going in the restroom alone anyway!

Single parents with children of the opposite gender would be able to take their small children to the restroom without worrying about it being a problem. A parent would be able to take their handicapped teenager to the bathroom without worry. I realize there are family restrooms and handicap bathrooms all over the place, HOWEVER, not every location has these and many of the handicap stalls are found in the GENDER SPECIFIC bathroom. Handicap or not, parents get horrible looks for taking their seemingly normal teenager or grown child to a restroom not suited for their gender.

People might actually become MORE aware of their surroundings and the people in it and actually pay attention. Am I saying that women deserve to be raped for going in THEIR restroom and some douche follows them in? NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT, but this world is going to hell and people still seem to think they're safe in a random place. Maybe if they're that scared of being molested, they'll pay more attention to who's in the bathroom with them.

Ok, I’m getting off my soap box now. I just think there are so many hate filled people in the world, that they only see one side of the issue.