So, last year we HAD to renovate our kitchen. We had NO CHOICE. The floor literally fell through, with my son standing on it. Don't worry, no one was hurt. His foot went through a little and he was able to move quickly to avoid going any further. Turns out the water line running to the ice machine in the freezer had a hole in it. How that happened I have no clue! Regardless, it leaked under the cabinet and we didn't know because the subfloor under the ceramic tile absorbed it, held it and rotted everything underneath.
ANYWAY, I have chosen NOW, more than a year later, to become obsessed with house hunting and fixer upper shows. Perhaps it’s because there are so many other areas of this house that we still have to fix up and replace and renovate. It all sounds so exhausting just typing that. Watching these shows, I realize quite a few things we’ve done wrong with our renovations, however, at the moment, our kitchen and bedroom function and provide what we need. So they’re staying as is. Aside from learning a few things, I also realize how aggravated I get with these people. I realize it’s for entertainment, so obviously they only show us a select few when we really know they did more or showed more houses, however, you have to admit that you want to strangle most of these people upon watching these shows. Let’s start with the house hunting shows.
House Hunters
Budget:
I recently watched an episode with a blended family. When the husband and wife met, she had 5 kids, he had 2. They married and added one more. She stays at home. Doesn’t work. How in the hell can they afford a $1.685 million dollar home?????? She’s a widow so maybe she off’ed her husband for a sizeable life insurance policy. Who knows!?!? I just wonder how half of these people have the budgets they have. New college graduates with a $900k budget. Single mom with a $800k budget and 5 kids. REALLY!!!!
Lack of communication between buyers:
Clearly spouses do not communicate with each other before taping the show. Neither knows what the other one wants and they argue about what they like about each house. I’m honestly surprised they can knock all this down into a 30 minute episode.
Open concept:
I realize this is popular now. Don’t get me wrong, I love being able to be in my kitchen and look into the living room and see friends or family. However, I’m sick of people whining about open concept homes or lack thereof, when there’s actually a version of it in the house. What I mean by this, if there is a wall between your living room and kitchen but there’s a huge gaping cut out in the wall, big enough for people to jump through, IT’S OPEN CONCEPT DAMMIT!
Perfect house, minor imperfections:
Don’t get me wrong. I understand wanting your home to perfect, especially those desiring a turn-key home. However, if the only thing you dislike is paint color in a few rooms, get off your ass, buy brushes and paint and paint it yourself. Or if your budget is $200k and you get the home for $100k, PAY SOMEONE TO PAINT! It’s really that simple.
Speaking of imperfections:
If your budget is $200k, you’re not going to get all the amenities of a $700k home. It’s not going to happen. Face it. Deal with it. Get over it. You’re going to have to give on something!
Toying with other peoples’ stuff:
I realize many of these homes are “staged” but some are not. Some of that stuff really belongs to the people currently living there. Laying in their bed, crawling in their tub, not acceptable, in my humble opinion. It’s weird and creepy. Don’t do it.
Over budget:
I get that money is money. I’m poor by many peoples’ standards and I’m TOTALLY fine with that. I have friends, family and I do have somewhere to live. I’m good. However, if you’re looking for a home and it’s $1k over budget, you can afford it. Negotiation. Many people get homes for less than listing price so don’t stand on national television going “it’s so high and so much over budget!” Unless you’re RENTING, that’s not over budget.
Moving on…
Tiny House Nation/Tiny House Hunters
Basically, everything I said before still applies here, however, there is one other thing that drives me nuts about this show in particular.
It’s too small:
Well duh. What did you expect? You can’t say in front of the world, “we’re looking to downsize and lead a simpler life” and then turn around and say “but there’s not enough room for all my clothes.” Well again, it’s a TINY HOUSE. It’s meant for living and function, not indulging in millions of dollars’ worth of materialistic things. Plain and simple. I know it’s a transition but if you’re ready for the transition then you can surely get rid of some of your stuff.
On to the fixer upper shows!
Love It or List It
I absolutely love this show, however, I want to choke homeowners from EVERY SINGLE EPISODE.
Let’s start with your HOME renovations. If your home was built in the 50s and not updated, please do not give Hilary a tiny budget then get pissed at HER when you can’t have a brand new home because she found a leak in your water lines or something with the electrical that was hidden behind a wall. Be thankful that she kept your home from flooding or burning down. Seriously, there’s only so much she can do.
Something else that really annoys me about people and their budget. If your home is CURRENTLY valued at $700k and we all know that the value will go up with ANY renovations, then please, I don't want to see you get really upset over the perfect home that's $10-$100k over your budget of $750k. First of all, if you were selling your home as is, you were only borrowing $50k to begin with to purchase a new home. Assuming your homes value increases by $80-$150k, you'll be EARNING money from the sale of your home. You'll come out with a profit of $30k and above! I understand you borrowed money most likely to renovate your home, but you'll still come out either breaking even or with profit so stop grumbling about the home when you love it and it's perfect for your family. If you'll break even or come out with money in your pocket, GREAT. The last episode I watched, the new value of their home was $775k and the home they wanted was $800k. It was originally $50k over their budget and is now only $25k over budget. You're going to have to borrow $25k. That is NOT A LOT when your current homes original value, with no renovations, was $650k but you were going to purchase a home for $750k. You were willing to borrow $100k but now you're grumbling about borrowing $25k. I'm so confused.
Something else that really annoys me about people and their budget. If your home is CURRENTLY valued at $700k and we all know that the value will go up with ANY renovations, then please, I don't want to see you get really upset over the perfect home that's $10-$100k over your budget of $750k. First of all, if you were selling your home as is, you were only borrowing $50k to begin with to purchase a new home. Assuming your homes value increases by $80-$150k, you'll be EARNING money from the sale of your home. You'll come out with a profit of $30k and above! I understand you borrowed money most likely to renovate your home, but you'll still come out either breaking even or with profit so stop grumbling about the home when you love it and it's perfect for your family. If you'll break even or come out with money in your pocket, GREAT. The last episode I watched, the new value of their home was $775k and the home they wanted was $800k. It was originally $50k over their budget and is now only $25k over budget. You're going to have to borrow $25k. That is NOT A LOT when your current homes original value, with no renovations, was $650k but you were going to purchase a home for $750k. You were willing to borrow $100k but now you're grumbling about borrowing $25k. I'm so confused.
If you’re unhappy in your space and David finds you a home with everything you need, where you want, at or UNDER your budget, then stop complaining about a paint color or placement of a staged couch! Seriously. All that shit will be gone when you move in or can be quickly taken care of with a paintbrush and paint.
Something else that kills me about people with spacious homes. If there’s only two people living in a 4 bedroom house with 3 bathrooms, a garage, a home office, a huge kitchen and a huge living room, please do not complain about space, when we can clearly see that 2 bedrooms look like an episode of hoarders and your living room has 8 chairs and 3 sofas. CLEAN UP AND ORGANIZE YOUR SHIT. If you have a 2000 sq. ft. home and there’s only two of you, you can make it work. Trust me. There are 4 people, 1 dog and 2 cats in my small double wide trailer and we’re just fine!
Something else that kills me about people with spacious homes. If there’s only two people living in a 4 bedroom house with 3 bathrooms, a garage, a home office, a huge kitchen and a huge living room, please do not complain about space, when we can clearly see that 2 bedrooms look like an episode of hoarders and your living room has 8 chairs and 3 sofas. CLEAN UP AND ORGANIZE YOUR SHIT. If you have a 2000 sq. ft. home and there’s only two of you, you can make it work. Trust me. There are 4 people, 1 dog and 2 cats in my small double wide trailer and we’re just fine!
Fixer Upper
This show is just hilarious! Seriously. People BUY these homes with the intention of turning them into their dream homes but then complain about budget or issues with the foundation or having to rewire the entire home. If you pick the ugliest, most screwed up looking home, you should realize that it's going to be work and it's going to take money. Did you not think about what you were getting into before you went the route of a fixer upper??????
I'd also like to discuss one more show that I have recently become obsessed with and I have NO CLUE WHY! Flip or Flop.....
I love watching them turn something horrible into something great. What I don't get, is how they manage to get houses that have to be partially torn down and such. Ok, so there have been tons of episodes where they bought homes with non-permitted additions that have to be torn down and they get so upset because it takes away the value of the home because they lose a room. Explain to me how once they finish the home, they have to have an inspection before it can be listed and if someone makes an offer, it has to be appraised, but all this doesn't have to be completed when the home is originally listed and they purchase is to flip. Is it the sites they find the homes listed on? Is this some weird law that California has? I just don't get it. You would think if it has to be inspected and appraised AFTER being flipped, then it should be before it's sold the first time around.
Also, I'm getting sick of seeing them get screwed over because they pay someone to do a job and it has to be done again because the job wasn't done AND they have to pay again. Maybe this is a set up for television. I honestly do not know. However, I will say, if I pay someone to come out and level my foundation and I come in the next day and it isn't level, you can bet your ass they're coming back to do it free of charge or we're going to court. If I pay you to do a job, then do the damn job. Plain and simple.
Yes, I am basically jealous of all these people that can afford ANY of these homes, but that doesn't change the fact that I think they're all naive idiots!
I'd also like to discuss one more show that I have recently become obsessed with and I have NO CLUE WHY! Flip or Flop.....
I love watching them turn something horrible into something great. What I don't get, is how they manage to get houses that have to be partially torn down and such. Ok, so there have been tons of episodes where they bought homes with non-permitted additions that have to be torn down and they get so upset because it takes away the value of the home because they lose a room. Explain to me how once they finish the home, they have to have an inspection before it can be listed and if someone makes an offer, it has to be appraised, but all this doesn't have to be completed when the home is originally listed and they purchase is to flip. Is it the sites they find the homes listed on? Is this some weird law that California has? I just don't get it. You would think if it has to be inspected and appraised AFTER being flipped, then it should be before it's sold the first time around.
Also, I'm getting sick of seeing them get screwed over because they pay someone to do a job and it has to be done again because the job wasn't done AND they have to pay again. Maybe this is a set up for television. I honestly do not know. However, I will say, if I pay someone to come out and level my foundation and I come in the next day and it isn't level, you can bet your ass they're coming back to do it free of charge or we're going to court. If I pay you to do a job, then do the damn job. Plain and simple.
Yes, I am basically jealous of all these people that can afford ANY of these homes, but that doesn't change the fact that I think they're all naive idiots!
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