So I've expressed in a previous post that I was envious of some of the mommy bloggers whose blogs I follow. I can't help it. They're smartass, snarky moms who are rocking it and totally kicking ass. One blog I found, I'm playing catch up on her old posts and I'm dying! She wrote a post about terrible toys produced over the years and some have me dying of laughter and others I'm looking at going, "hey, I'd totally love that," and all the while thinking that anyone reading this is going to think I'm insane. I've never been tested for a mental illness but I'm a sarcastic sick ass at times. Here are my favorite 5 that left me dying for air! Since it's Christmas time and all, maybe you want to pick one up for your little ones!!!!! Or not….
1. Insane asylum for children!
Yes, that's a "strait" jacket. Personally, I would have loved this as a kid. It looks like fun and sometimes I think I need one now! Believe me, if my hands were tied up I'd do a lot less damage. I probably need the Hannibal Lector mask too because my mouth needs some shutting sometimes. I have no filter. Ever.
1. Insane asylum for children!
Yes, that's a "strait" jacket. Personally, I would have loved this as a kid. It looks like fun and sometimes I think I need one now! Believe me, if my hands were tied up I'd do a lot less damage. I probably need the Hannibal Lector mask too because my mouth needs some shutting sometimes. I have no filter. Ever.
2. Now this next little gem, I can understand the hesitation in buying.
See what I did up there, this little "gem?" HAHA! Yes, that is a noose with gems on it. For the fashionable suicide or homicide. Seriously. Who would buy this for their kid. "Here you go darling, Merry Christmas! Now, go play with your brother." Um, no. I'm totally kidding! Sort of. I wouldn't seriously have fed my son this way, BUT, it might have come in handy when he seemed to only be hungry during the hours of 1 and 5am. Don’t worry. He's 12 now. He can hold his own cups. Unless your husband is harboring same sex tendencies, I don't think he'd want Superman giving him a blow job but then again, who knows?!?!? Throw some make-up and a wig on that bad boy and go to town! We all know this is a decorating tool. It's not sexual at all. I've never met a man who's penis had pearls around the head and swirls down the base, unless they were added to enhance sexual pleasure!
3. Now this, I could've used when my son was born.
4. This one… I'm just like, who the hell would buy this for their kid? Their husband maybe, then again maybe not.
5. This one had every parent in the world uncomfortable for a while and I really can't figure out why. hmmmmmm
Happy toy shopping y'all!
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