Co-Parenting With My Mom....

Keegan and I love talking about my mom. We talk about how they used to play together and it astonishes me that my son can remember things he did at the age of 4 or younger. A lot of kids later in life don't remember those ages. Maybe it's because he's still close to that age or maybe he just REALLY loved Nana and remembers her that well but he can bring up things I can't remember!

It came to my attention however, that he was told my mother raised him and not me. I have to say that this pisses me off. Yes, my mother helped me in so many ways. I never moved out so of course he had extended family in this house. My mother babysat for me so I didn't have to pay for daycare and yes she watched him for me to go out with friends, however, that didn't happen often.

For the first year of my son's life, I took him to every appointment, fed him 90% of his meals and rocked him to sleep 95% of the time. My mother was with there WITH me through all of this. I was 19 when my son was born. My mother helped me through all of the sleepless nights, mounds of baby clothes and various doctors appointments but not once in that first year did I request she do it alone nor did she. We did it together, like a married couple would. She was my son's "father" during that year.

In 2005 after his first birthday, I began college on campus. My mother watched my son for me while I was in class. Generally I came straight home from classes and occasionally I would call my mother and ask if I could hang out with friends after class. If she said she didn't mind, then I would stay out for a couple hours but I was always home to rock my son to sleep. When I began working that would sometimes change as I was in school all day and at work until we closed at 11 every night. I'd get home after midnight and if my son woke up, I cared for him and got him back to sleep. It was no different than a married couples relationship except she was my mother. She was the father my son didn't have. His father was off playing daddy to a brood of children that were NOT his. During the times I was working and going to school, the ONLY time I went out after work was if mom told me Keegan was sleeping well and probably wouldn't wake up, or if he was actually at his father's for the weekend. During this time, my mother did take my son to appointments and oftentimes she was the one to delivery him to his father or pick him up from his father, however, it was not because I was out partying. It was because I was trying to get an education and earn a paycheck.

During the time I was in classes online, and working from 7am-6pm every day, I went grocery shopping with MY money, fed MY family on MY paychecks and came home and cooked dinner for everyone in this house. It was a fair trade for my family and for my mother to watch my son. She saved me money in daycare fees and I took care of the family. There are those that only got ONE side of the story or only saw what they wanted to see. My son was very close to my mother and he misses her dearly all the time. For that, I will never regret the way he was raised, especially those first 4 (almost 5) years of his life. If anyone has a problem with that or things that I didn't care for my own son, screw you. I was and still am a good mother. My love for my son and his love for me is proof of that.

I'm an Allstar!!!

I became an Allstar this month!!! For those of you that have NO clue what that is, AllRecipes® has an Ambassador program that one can become part of through trials and tribulations (so to speak) and once you do, it is AMAZING! That’s what I hear from my girl Faith anyway. I have to say this month was pretty cool. I received an awesome welcome package with a cute little potholder and an insulated grocery tote. For the next 12 months, I get to cook and share it all with other men and women like myself who also love to cook and share it with others! Yay! I hope the rest of the months are as fun and adventurous as February was. Because the Allstars is about cooking and sharing, I figured instead of starting a whole new blog, I’d just post all my fun adventures in this one!

Moving right along! For the month of February, we had to choose three Faceless recipes (recipes on the site with no picture), make them up and post a picture of what our creation looked like. Let me tell you, some of mine weren’t so pretty, however, they got done!

My first recipe was a Garlic Chicken Breast. It turned out pretty tasty but it was very bland looking. I discovered during this dish that my oven’s temperature control is apparently busted. My oven is cooking at 425° no matter what the temperature is set at. The funny thing about this is however, I had to cook the chicken longer than the recipe called for because it wasn’t done at the time allocated! I figured that even if the time in the recipe was off, cooking at a good 75°hotter than it should have, it would’ve gotten done quicker. NOT! Either way it came out pretty good. Tad bit dry but tasty.

My second recipe was fairly easy and simple since all it required was a little booze, lemon (and peel), honey and hot water! It was a......Hot Toddy Cocktail! No, I'm not a boozer (much) but we make these all the time when we have terrible colds or the flu and we had all the ingredients on hand for a change! I discovered with a lot of the faceless recipes, I didn't have a lot of the ingredients on hand (or we wouldn't like them). Yes, I have enough food to feed an army but there are things we do not own!!!!

My third and final faceless for February was Savory Diet Chicken. We discovered why it was called "diet chicken." I'm not so sure why the savory was included in there. I followed the directions exactly and well....as you can tell from the picture it was bland looking. It was pretty bland tasting too. We love chicken and we cook it in a million different ways but this will most likely not be one that we add to our collection.

February was fun though. We did get to try some new recipes. I learned a lot of other spices, condiments and necessary ingredients that I might need to make it through the rest of the program, so we'll see what happens! See you in March!

Disclaimer:

I am an AllRecipes AllStar Brand Ambassador. This is a voluntary position which I am not compensated for.

A Positive Thought Cannot Be Denied

I've been trying to have a more positive outlook about things. I've been trying to do better on a daily basis in a lot of areas. I've been going to bed "early" every night and either staying up once Keegan is off to school or only sleeping until about 9:30 or 10. I've found that I'm more productive this way, go figure! With that, I read an article that states that writing down three positives that happen to you during the day can improve your mood and gets you thinking positively so I've decided I'm going to try each day to write down, somewhere, three positives about the day. Today's positives:

Tony and I are getting along! This is definitely an achievement.

Keegan and his basketball team are getting better with each game. They didn't win, but they are getting better and they go out and give all the heart they can.

Keegan and I made it to and from town safely.

Unfortunately I have a meeting with Keegan's teacher and I think it might have to do with something I said at the Advanced Training meeting on Monday. I guess I should have gone to her first before I mentioned anything to the other teacher and assistant principle. I didn't mean anything by it and I wasn't going to them first as opposed to going to her. We were just chatting about how things were different this year for us than they had been in previous years and I felt like there was more she could be doing. I'm only guessing that's what this is about. For all I know, it could be something totally different but Keegan's been pretty good in school since the Christmas break so unless he's doing poorly grade wise, the meeting has to be about me. I feel bad because if this is the case, then in her eyes, it seems like I went to other staff members, especially the assistance principle before going to her, which I was going to do. I was going to try to schedule a meeting with her this coming week. Anyway, that entire situation might make my tomorrow a bad day... Hope not. I hope she understands the situation and doesn't hold it against me or Keegan for the rest of the school year.

time to worry about ME

It’s officially New Year’s Eve and I’m laying here next to a man who makes me want to hug him and push him in front of a bus (moving of course) all at the same time. I can’t help but hope we can always be like we are at this moment, the night we had, the love we shared and the compassion and caring he showed me when I truly needed it.

This is what I do late at night… when I can’t sleep. I ponder my meaningless life and type up old journal entries just so I can have my thoughts doubly recorded. I need a life, seriously. I can’t say much. I had/have great friends that I do get to hang out with these days, but after this whole incident with this one girl, I just don’t know if I want to be around any of them honestly. I feel so fucking betrayed. I guess I’m confused on what true friends are maybe…

It’s been kind of liberating just worrying about me and Tony. For the last few months, I’ve run to Faith with all my problems. This isn’t necessarily a problem but I’m constantly comparing my relationship to hers. I’ve also been having an online affair with Michael (my ex), I guess if that’s what you want to call it. I was so fed up with Tony that I decided we were done and I spent a good few months making plans with Michael to get him back in SC and with me and boot Tony to the curb. Somewhere around Halloween, the shit hit the fan and I let it all out what was going on, how I felt and what I wanted to do. Tony had tears in his eyes telling me he was sorry for everything and how he wanted to make it work. I fell for it again like a jackass. What can I say? I love the man. This of course left Michael thoroughly pissed off with me because he felt like I was playing him and betrayed him. I didn’t mean to of course. Perhaps if Tony and I weren’t living together, it may have been easier to walk away and let the relationship fall in the cracks, but we live together, he’s helping raise my son and I owe that to my son at least, to give it another try. Well Michael and I began talking again as friends. Nothing else but he still wants to be together and he was supposed to come down for Christmas and we were going to see each other. Some shit happened with his job and he was unable to make it to SC. I saw this as a blessing in disguise. Then some other stuff happened with my so called friends and one of them went crazy on everyone which I later found out she was only mad with me. I still don’t understand this, because I bought so much shit for this girl and did so much for her and she still turned her back on me. Trifling 22 year old child. Whatever. I’m going to rise above all that. The point is, it’s now leaving Tony and I to spend New Year’s Eve together. I’m considering all of this as signs that Tony and I are supposed to try and work things out. He needs to do better with working and being a support system and I have to learn to stop criticizing him and setting him up to fail. I need to take his word for things and try to trust that he’ll do right. We’ve had a great week so far and I am proud to say that part of it is because I’m not running to my friends with my problems. I’m not worrying about hurting anyone but Tony and Keegan. I’m only considering our feelings in our relationship and I’ve been trying to give Tony the benefit of the doubt. He came through on Christmas. He’s keeping my truck with gas and he’s done 90% of everything I’ve asked him to do. If he’s willing to try, then so am I. It’s the least I can do. 

Holiday VoxBox 2012

I received my first VoxBox ever from Influenster today, on Christmas Eve of all days! Merry Christmas to me right??!?! YAY! Anyway. I was really excited about getting it so I could have cared less what was in the box. Seriously. It could have been dog food and I would have still been happy! Anyway. So, I had 5 ACTUAL PHYSICAL items I could touch in the box, and one coupon code.

The items in the Holiday 2012 VoxBox were:

Quaker Real Medleys Oatmeal (we got the Summer Berry one)

NYC New York Color Liquid Lipshine (Nude York City colored)

Kiss Nail Dress

EBOOST

Goody QuikStyle Brush (paddle)

Sole Society (coupon code for $25 off first purchase)

So the Quaker my son and I eat on a regular basis. I’ve always hated oatmeal but the berry one is actually pretty good, so I gave it to my son. He says thank you to those great people at Influenster! Lol.

I also gave the Lipshine to my sister. I’m not big on lip gloss and believe it or not, I actually have that same one. I’m a nude girl and I bought it at a local drug store, looking for something that would make my lips shine but not make them go BOOM! I didn’t have a problem with the lipshine itself, I just realize that I use my chapstick WAY too much to wear lip gloss.

I haven’t tried the Kiss Nail dress yet. Not these anyway. I have tried some that came as a sample in a magazine once and it didn’t work so well. Maybe they didn’t work because they were exposed to the elements in the magazine. It could have been me. We’ll give it a try again, because I really like the design on these! I actually wish I had time to do them tonight because they would match my outfit for tomorrow very well!

I haven’t tried the Eboost yet but maybe tomorrow! Lol. I’m going to need it with everything we have going on.

I did use the brush today. If I have to be honest, I’m going to say that it doesn’t seem anything different than a regular brush. I feel like my hair dried in the same amount of time that it always does. I don’t really think it absorbed a lot. Once again, could’ve just been me. It does brush well though. No catches or pulls.

I don’t know that I’ll use the coupon. If a company is willing to allow that much off of a first purchase, then their products are probably REALLY expensive and I can’t afford too much for shoes. I’d love to purchase some because they look amazing but I never go anywhere to need those kinds of shoes!

Thanks to Influenster for giving me the opportunity to try this cool stuff though!

Caramel Apple Jello Shots, Pain in the ASS!

I love trying new things when it comes to food. I love trying new recipes and being able to turn one thing into something totally unexpected. Pinterest has become my new best friend for food experimentation, however, there's one recipe I may not EVER try again. Then again, now that I have the correct tools to do the job (according to the recipe), who knows?!?!

Ok, so... these are alcoholic which means I shouldn't complain about what it took to make them. I should've just swigged as I worked like any normal critical blogger would do!

Alright... since I only have one picture of what these things look like, I'm stealing a photo of what they SHOULD look like. Below, find the photo-shopped picture of someone's results (I could be wrong, lol. Their's could have really looked like this, but I would have had to photo shop them so I maintain that this person did too!)

Alright, so the ingredients consisted of

granny smith apples

knox gelatin

water

coconut milk

yellow food coloring

caramel hot chocolate (regular will do if you can't find caramel)

sugar

lemon juice (I'd recommend buying lemons)

AND THE BEST PART

butterscotch schnapps (if you want more alcohol content you can try a caramel vodka)

I did get a picture of the ingredients though!!!

So you start by hollowing the apples. You cut them in half from the stem down and hollow those suckers. The original poster says she used a melon baller, because every home has one of those.... Well... I had no melon baller. I know, WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?!!?!?!? I do own one now though, bought immediately after this....... experiment. Moving on. I used a spoon. Clearly I see why the melon baller is better. It's has a thinner but durable wall which will cut into the apple better. The spoon is rather dull so yea, didn't work so well. I had apples torn all over the place but I wasn't about to throw those bad boys away! 

You then you squeeze lemon juice on top to reduce browning. I didn't buy lemons (because the recipe simply states lemon juice). I guess any normal super mom/wife/party guru would know to buy lemons, not juice! I bought a bottle of lemon juice. Kind of hard to squeeze lemon juice out of a huge gaping hole in the top of a bottle. So... I poured some lemon juice in a bowl and rolled the pieces of apple around in the juice. It affected the flavor so I'll be using real lemons next time. After this, I'd recommend keeping the hollowed apples in a sealed container in the fridge. This will also reduce the browning. 

Next, you mix 1/2 cup water with an envelope of the caramel hot chocolate in a sauce pan. Whisk that sucker good to be sure all the hot chocolate is combined. Add in 1/2 cup of coconut milk and whisk again! You didn't do it right if your elbow doesn't hurt. 

You then sprinkle your gelatin on top and let sit for a few minutes. Notice the funny change. It begins to look slimey! After ogling over the funky reaction, turn the heat on low/medium and mix the gelatin until it’s all combined.

Add in ¼ cup sugar and simmer until the sugar is combined, BUT ONLY SLIGHTLY! Have you ever burned sugar? Don’t. I wouldn’t recommend it. Plus you have to start over. It’s a good thing I always buy double or triple of the recipe ingredients or else I’d have been screwed… I mean, sugar is a household ingredient but who the hell has knox gelatin and caramel hot chocolate just lying around? Oh wait, those perfect housewives do!

Anyway, after you add in the sugar, add in food coloring to get the color caramel you want. I used 4 and it was slightly too yellow. The original poster used two, so it’s all about your preference. After that’s done, let the mixture sit and cool down some to warm. Then add in ½ cup butterscotch schnapps or caramel vodka, whichever you chose. I used butterscotch schnapps. Next time I think I might try the caramel vodka. I bought both! Like I said, maybe I should’ve just chugged while I worked.

After arranging your apples in a container if you haven’t already (mine were arranged and in the refrigerator). Pour the caramel jello mixture into the apples and refrigerate overnight. This obviously sets up your jello and they’re best served cold anyway! I mean, they’re apples for crying out loud!

After they’ve been chilled, cut them in half, then cut those pieces in half again. I’d recommend a SHARP knife as a semi-dull one would totally screw up what you’ve done. If they’re browned, either trim off the brown area or toss those apples, but if you haven’t done a LOT, then well, you’re throwing away your product and alcohol! NOOOOOOO!

So… things I’d change would be how I hollowed the apples. As stated before, I’m not the proud owner of a melon baller. I will also buy actual lemons instead of lemon juice. I’m also going to try the vodka instead of schnapps. I might give these a go again for our New Year’s get together. Our group tends to just drink and forget the fruit, so…. I might not! I do see Jello shots in the future though.

I also failed to mention that this batch will fill about 10 whole apples (or 20 apple halves). So clearly if you need more you’d need to double up.

You’ll notice in the picture below that I have a MESS! I did mention somewhere up there that I had a lot of torn apples but that I wasn’t going to throw them away. I don’t throw perfectly good food away because it’s slightly flawed. It just turned out a little messy! According to my friends they were good, and most were eaten, but as also stated before, we kind of just swigged all night so we forgot about them later on!

Good luck to those who read this and give it a try!

Crest 3D White Professional Effects Whitestrips

I received an entire kit of Crest 3D Whitestrips FREE from Influenster (thanks Influenster), unexpectedly might I add. Giving it a try and I have to say it's kind of a weird experience. 

Basically, you peel the strip from its liner, put it on your teeth, lower strip first (don't ask me why this is important), then upper strip, wear for the time frame given and remove. 

Now.... the time you wear it for depends on what you're trying to accomplish. Five minutes is basically if you're using it daily or your teeth just need a quick sparkle. You wear them for thirty minutes if you're trying to get some professional looking whitening. For two hours of wear, you get professional, baby fresh white teeth. That's not what it says, but that's what I interpret it to mean.... 

Anyway, haven't tried them long enough to know whether they work great, but I do have two minor complaints. I know most people don't see those back teeth, but if my teeth are going to be pearly white, I want them ALL to be pearly white. The strips do not reach all the way to the back so you end up with four-eight teeth (upper and lower) that get no whitening. The other thing is, they leave somewhat of a residue on your teeth. It doesn't last long but it's still annoying to have a cleaning product leave a residue on your teeth. I mean, it's your mouth. You feel it.... Other than that, I would say it's a decent product if you have the time to put them on, leave them and then take them off. I personally need some intense whitening and leaving them on for more than 5 minutes a day is just not going to happen...

To see more check out Crest as well as Influenster!

And remember....in the words of Crest, "If You're Not Whitening, You're Yellowing."

Disclaimer: I received this sample from Influenster. I'm not affiliated with Crest nor do I work for Influenster. I'm also not getting paid for this.

Not exactly like riding a bicycle....

Whoever thought that the phrase "like riding a bicycle" applied to..... everything, was completely insane. If you haven't done something in a while, it's really not that easy to get back into it. Take cooking for example. If you haven't gone extravagant in a while, it's not happening so easily the first time. Then again, I could just be a horrible cook and I don't actually know it.

Due to lots of stress, lack of propane to cook with and overall laziness on my part, I haven't made a "real" meal in a while, if that's how you'd like to phrase it. We have a meat, generally a vegetable and a starch every night. Whether they came in the form of a frozen dinner or a Hamburger Helper dinner, or was actually home cooked, well, we won't go there. The natives eat every night, that's enough for me. Since I finally got a gas bottle filled, I decided to get off my ass and cook a "real" meal like I used to. I also decided I wanted to try more new recipes so that I could add some new stuff to our usual menu. This go round would include Texas Roadhouse Rolls which, yep, are the home version of Texas Roadhouse's yeast rolls. If you've ever eaten there, OMG, they are scrumptious! I have a feeling they either have GREAT pastry chefs all over the world that work in these places, or a mass box of frozen rolls that they just pop in the oven and call it a day. I vote for the latter.

Anyway, my meal was to consist of garlic fried chicken bites, homemade mashed potatoes and gravy (let's face it, instant just don't taste the same), whole kernel corn and these fabulous Texas Roadhouse Rolls. Well, because I'm an idiot and failed to thoroughly go over the instructions first, I was in the kitchen for almost 4 hours slaving away to get the rolls right and the chicken done and the potatoes done. Notice how I left out the corn. Yea, after all this, I decided that corn really wasn't essential so I didn't even bother to open the can!

The chicken was ok. It was about what I usually expect. You cube chicken, dip it in egg then into a flour and garlic powder and fry it up! This doesn't take long which would sound amazing but because the chicken cooks quick, you constantly have to be near the pan. You can't exactly do too much with it cooking unless you have a deep fryer. We have a gas stove, obviously, so the temp isn't really regulated. I always make homemade mashed potatoes. I positively HATE instant! Let me just say, once you've got something down and to a "science," don't fuck with it! Just don't! I always cube the potatoes. Well I was trying to take the easy way out so I hooked up one of my new fancy KitchenAid attachments and went to work slicing the potatoes. Big mistake. Sure, they cooked, they were done, but I'm guessing because of the way they were cut, they held water. The potatoes were mushy and watered down. Blegh. My gravy was fantastic though. It too was homemade. The reason I was in the kitchen so long, ready to burn shit down was those damn rolls.

Let's start from the beginning....

I've only ever made any kind of dough homemade, ONE time and that was pie crust. It took it a while to firm up and was highly difficult to work with since it was 100 degrees in my house and the crust kept melting but I made it work! Anyway, this recipes calls for you to mix the yeast, sugar and water til all dry ingredients are dissolved. Check. Then you add in eggs, SCALDED and cooled to lukewarm milk, and..... more sugar I believe. I'm not looking at the recipe people. Oh, and butter, also cooled to lukewarm. Once again, because I didn't read the instructions properly the day before, I had to melt butter and scald the milk. Both containers were set gently in ice baths to cool faster. Maybe that was the problem. Either way, all items are now added to the wonderful KitchenAid where I (I mean, the mixer) used the trusty dough hook to knead the crap out of that dough for about 4 minutes. Well then you chunk it in a greased bowl and you lightly grease the top. I understand the greased bowl but why is there a grease layer on top (more like oil, but you know what I mean!)? First off, that dough was STICKY! Seriously sticky! Notice in the picture how there's quite a lot left in the bowl. Is this supposed to happen?

Then it's supposed to rise, on it's own, with no help from anything but the air temp! Yea, it was slightly cold in my house. This is what it looked like after being in the bowl on it's own for about an hour. No rising. This is what it looked like when I put it in the bowl!

Sorry folks, no picture after it rose. It took forever, but I googled an idea for making it rise faster and was told to heat a bowl of warm water in the microwave to boiling, then quickly remove and stick bowled dough in and heat would help without causing issues. This did work! After rising, you're supposed to roll it out on a flat floured surface with a rolling pin. My counter nor my rolling pin care too much for flour. It just kept wiping off! Well I finally got it rolled out, cut into rectangles and GUESS WHAT? You have to let them rise AGAIN! What's with all the damn rising! Pressed for time I popped them in the oven once they were ALMOST double their size. Perhaps a little more rising would have resulted in fluffier rolls but I was told they were good so either I have an entire family of liars of they were actually decent. They were tasty, just a little dry. Practice makes perfect right. These will  be tried again, I'm just hoping I can split the recipe in half. It's supposed to make 24 rolls. Um, there's only 4 of us.... Don't need that much!

The Vow - Movie

So I was scrolling through posts and came across the one where I made a list of movies I wanted to see. I realize that I've only seen ONE movie off that entire list! That's truly sad. Anyway! The one I saw was The Vow. I give it credit. It was a great love story. It originally made me think of 50 First Dates when I saw the story line. Girl gets in an accident, can't remember anything, falls in love, lives happily ever after. This definitely isn't the same story though. Throughout this movie you see a lot of love between the two main characters that you can't help but wish you had. I know I'd kill for a man to love me enough to do everything he could to make me love him again. I can barely get a man to show me affection after he has me, much less do everything over again to make me feel that way again. It really is a great movie.
On another note, I will be seeing more of the movies on my list now. Given that most of them are now on DVD, I can just rent them! so ha!
I do have three more to add that look funny. I saw previews for them when we went to the movies to see two movies this past week!

Those movies are:
Hotel Transylvania
FrankenWeenie
The Perks of Being a Wallflower (the one I wanna see most)

A Stolen Life: A Memoir - Book

So I recently read A Stolen Life: A Memoir, by Jaycee Dugard. For those of you that might not know who that is, she was the young girl, kidnapped from near her home when she was 11 years old and was "found" eighteen years later. I'm by no means an expert writer, but I have to say that if you didn't know this was written by someone with no more than a fourth grade education, you'd choose to describe it as tacky, unprofessional and written poorly. The book made me want to put it down and keep reading all at the same time. I felt like I was reading a child's journal but then I would get wrapped up in what she was writing and I couldn't put it down. This poor girl went through so much more than the news and internet portrayed. I would recommend this book, however, I would also warn them to take into consideration who is writing it. This girl was kept prisoner for eighteen years by a pedophile and his wife who thought her husband did no wrong. It makes you want to scream, get sick and ask what's wrong with people in the world. How did people not know what was going on? How did the law, the parole officers, and people they ran across not know who she was or that something was wrong? Read it!