life is fucking hard!

I tell my son every day, being an adult is hard. REALLY FUCKING HARD. For those that make it look easy, YAY! But I'll be damned if I'm sugarcoating shit for my kid. Maybe that makes me a terrible mother. Maybe it makes me the greatest one on planet earth. It doesn't matter what other people think, as long as I think I'm doing ok and he's happy and healthy, right? He thinks I'm doing just fine and I'm ok with that. I just don't want my kid growing up thinking that life is going to be a bed of roses, or a cake walk, or whatever other crappy metaphor you want to put forth. A while back I had a writing exercise when I was trying to “open up my writing senses” and become a better writer, that required me to write a letter to a younger me. I really can't remember if I was allowed to choose an age or if it chose it for me, but the letter was to a 13 year old me. This is some shit I wish my parents had told me. Instead of my mother always saying “never rely on a man” or my father saying “learn to change your oil,” I wish they would have said “learn to SURVIVE ON YOUR OWN and find a way to make it happen.” Seriously! Well here goes.

Dear 13 year old Robin,

          Life is fucking tough. Plain and simple. I won't sugarcoat shit here. It's ok to cry. It's ok to get upset and be hurt. However, get used to it, have your little upset moment and move the hell on. It's going to happen. A lot. Life won't always be as easy as it is now. There won't be someone around to clean up your messes, pick up your shit or clean up after your lazy ass so get a move on now! Even if you work hard to meet your goals, even if you meet your goals, life is still going to be hard and one long ass roller-coaster. You'll want to get off long before it stops and you'll spend a lot of the time holding in your feelings so you don't vomit all over the person in front of you. Having people that stand by you no matter what helps lighten the load or at least makes it easier to carry. That's not to say you need a hundred friends. Only have people in your life that truly want you for nothing other than your friendship. If you notice they only talk to you or come around when you're happy, have money, or are doing something that will benefit their lives, cut them loose. It'll get lonely. There will come a time when you might not have anyone by your side, but then people will come along and make you realize that being alone wasn't so bad because they'll have your back no matter what. Learn now that no one has the right to judge you. NO ONE. If they do, it's because there is something in THEIR lives that they are unhappy with. People will talk, tease and try to find a way to bring you and others down. It's what unhappy people do. Don't be that person. It will get you nowhere in life. You'll be lonely and it will not have been worth it. Wait to have sex! Seriously. Or just commit to having casual sex and ALWAYS USE PROTECTION. I know, I know. That sounds absolutely terrible, the first part anyway, but it's true. If you like sex but really know you don't want to be settled down, lay the rules down first. Don't get your heart caught up in a temporary pleasurable sensation. If you don't think your emotions can handle the ride, then just WAIT to have sex. Wait until you're older and truly in love. It'll mean more then. You'll know when it's right. Always listen to that little voice inside, ALWAYS. It'll never steer you wrong and if it does, it'll be worth it in the end because everything happens for a reason. If you're not going to be proud of the outcome of the decision you're making, then don't make the decision. Choose the alternative route, every time. Don't make promises you don't intend on keeping. Sometimes we say things like “I promise to stop tapping my nails” or something else incredibly stupid but it's just a random promise. You never know who might be listening to these promises and who might be taking them seriously so if you're bound to not keeping your word, then just don't use the word "promise" unless it's something as serious as death and taxes. If you break a promise, a legitimate one, it should be because you had absolutely no possible other choice, plain and simple. Apologize, beg for forgiveness, and NEVER EVER DO IT AGAIN. Own up to your mistakes. Be the kind of person your parents, future husband, and future children will be proud of. Be someone you'd be proud of and always be proud of who you are.

Sincerely,

35 Year Old Robin who really could have used ALL of this advice 17-20 friggin' years ago!