So... I'm fairly thankful that I have a small family. With the holidays approaching, I shudder to think of what I'd do if we had a super large family and had to host people in our home.
The only time I've ever hosted an actual holiday dinner in my home, my grandmother was the only person invited and it pissed the rest of my family off.
My black boyfriend wasn't allowed in her (my grandmother) home, not by her doing, but because other family members might be offended (whatever) and that's where we always have holiday dinners, even now that she's passed on. There were two individuals who married into the family that didn't care for mixing the races as far as dating goes so to keep them from being uncomfortable, my man wasn't invited.
So… basically we were made to feel uncomfortable and unwelcome. I mean, we, as in actual family, could attend, and I normally wouldn't choose someone I'm not married to over my own family but their reasons were stupid. We were eating dinner, not having an orgy.
I decided if he couldn't eat there, then the five of us would eat here and I invited my grandmother because she told me herself he would've been welcome regardless. Even though it was her house, everyone else rallied against it.
I did a great job on cooking everything and we had a traditional Christmas meal. I mean, we normally eat hamburger helper, spaghetti or something I can throw in the crock pot, oven or pressure cooker. I love one pan/pot/dish meals! But I pulled it off all by myself! Yay for me. But boy was it a lot of hard work.
I'm the type of person to literally clean when I learn company's coming over because we NEVER have company and I despise cleaning. I do the dishes, clean up the kitchen and do the laundry. I keep the bathrooms less than disgusting. That's about the extent of my cleaning. I have kids. One legit kid and one grown kid (my man). Neither knows how to pick up after themselves and they're both old enough to do so. One even gets PAID to clean up and apparently it's easier to wait for Christmas and Birthday to ask for presents instead of working for money to buy throughout the year. I get sick of it so my house is a mess.
There are cooking pans and boxed/canned foods on the table. Storage boxes with stuff we use on a semi-regular basis stacked in random places. Blankets on the couch that don't belong there. Shoes all over the place. Dust on the ceiling fans and perhaps a spider web sans spiders in the corners of the living room and dining room, neither of which we frequent. We're more of a "our bedrooms are our sanctuaries, we only leave to fix our plates, use the restroom, shower and leave the house." Seriously. I'm not kidding. We're a distant family inside these walls. We love our space and privacy. Outside the home we're social and fun together. It works. My kid is loved and he knows it. That's good enough for me and he does spend some quality time in my room with me watching TV shows we like.
Getting back on track. Family dinners. Even now that my grandmother is gone, we still use her old home which was left to my youngest 1st cousin, for family dinners. Much of it is cooked there by my cousin but we all kind of pot luck it. We all bring something to contribute. My contribution used to be deviled eggs but apparently my oldest 1st cousin one-upped me on those and the family believe paprika tastes good on eggs. Yuck. But, I can make my grandfather's potato salad and NO ONE ELSE CAN so I win there! That and a dessert, since I LOVE to bake, are my contributions.
That one dinner for five almost killed me. If I had to feed my whole family I would die. It's relatively small and we all live close to each other so there's no travel, no hosting of family, no changing tradition by switching up houses. We tried that two years in a row and confused everyone!
My boyfriends family is a different story. They bounce around at the holidays and his family is HUGE! All the women cook stuff and bring it to the designated location. When I say they cook stuff, think of about 50 women cooking a minimum of 2 dishes each. There's so much food to choose from you have no idea what to get! I love eating with his family but sometimes I just have to take a break and eat with my family. I love the traditional food we have and the way they've cooked it for years and I prefer to be in a smaller anti-social setting!
By the way, this current boyfriend is allowed at family gatherings because he made everyone in my family so comfortable by joining in that they love him and don't see color! The ex was anti-social and an ass. He's the one who wasn't allowed at family functions! oh well....
Ahh, holidays. Can't wait for Christmas! At Thanksgiving dinner I pigged out. Can't wait for TURKEY! Let the "screw my diet season" continue!
